Scotland, Feb ’22: Mountain biking at Nevis Range, Fort William

Friday 11 February

Following the previous day’s disappointment at ruling out climbing due to the avalanche forecast, and subsequent later night than planned, we didn’t rush to get up. Our plan was to leave the van in Ben Nevis’s North Face car park and ride through Leanachan forest to the Nevis Range centre to ride its renowned mountain bike trails. We hoicked the bikes off the back and set off east along a wide gravel trail through the forest.

Nevis Range ski and bike centre was more substantial than we imagined, with a large car park, café, several bike trails and a big Gondola lift up to Aonach Mor. We started in the little skills area with a few laps of the mini runs, then rode up the hill to the start of the trails. The way up started on a wide gravel track, then branched into a twisty dirt singletrack that took us on a sustained climb through the forest to reach the top of the blue (intermediate) Voodoo and Blue Adder trails and the red (difficult) Top Chief’s Wild Goat trails.

Morning – Voodoo, Blue Adder, Blue Uphill, Wild Goat

We did the Voodoo first, a really fun, flowy, open trail with sweeping berms and some quick sections. At the bottom we headed back up via the Blue Uphill Access trail, another slightly technical blue route just off the gravel track that made the way up a bit more fun. We passed the Voodoo and started down the Blue Adder, just a little way on. This was a fast, technical, twisty trail with boarded berms and tight little turns between tall pines. The bottom bit was flowy and particularly fun, and we shot out of the woods back at the Nevis Range centre.

We slogged up the hill once again (and, as Ryan insisted, for the last time) and headed down the red Wild Goat trail. This was really, really fun, with technical rocky and rooty sections, fast, sweeping berms and a BMX-type 4X jump track. Despite its relatively short length, this was my favourite trail of the day.

Wild Goat ended back at the café, so we nipped in for lunch. It was a modern, cosy, cabin-like, MTB/ski-themed place, with stunning mountain art, a wall full of mounted skis and an expensive-looking full sus bike hanging from the high ceiling. As we sat, thawed and snacked, we decided to book a cheap room for the night in Fort William so we could have a shower and a holiday treat – dinner out, albeit in Wetherspoons.

Afternoon – World Champs, Broomstick Blue

Warmed, fed and looking forward to an evening out, we left the café slightly reluctantly and headed up the hill the other way to the World Champs red trail, a long route that starts quite high up. We pedalled through the forest, only going the wrong way once, and emerged onto a track above the trees which afforded stunning views over the vast, rolling, snow-capped mountains around Ben Nevis. We reached the trail after a substantial climb, which was worth it for the views alone.

It was a long, fast, varied singletrack route created for the 2007 XC mountain bike world championships with avoidable drop offs, quick corners and technical rocky sections, which my poor old hardtail clunked and bucked over. I actually found the rocks and roots quite annoying as it would otherwise have been a nice flowy trail, but that’ll teach me (it won’t) for refusing to buy a full sus. The first half of the trail was above the forest and it felt more exciting than the second half through the trees, but it was all great fun and we popped out on the track that heads back to the North Face car park.

We branched off onto the Broomstick Blue trail, a singletrack blue that runs parallel to the gravel track back to the car park. It was fairly flat but flowy and quite fun, with a few long boardwalk sections, some little climbs and the occasional technical rocky/rooty bit. I was keen to keep riding and try some more trails but Ryan vetoed, citing the pull of Fort William and the pub, so back at the van we loaded the bikes and headed into town.

Fort William

We parked in the central car park and walked the short distance to Bank Street Lodge, the cheap and cheerful hotel we’d booked on a whim. It turned out I’d actually stayed there previously when I did the Three Peaks Challenge, but it’s since been converted from a hostel into a small, basic hotel. We showered, I washed my hair (a strenuous task) and we headed out along the surprisingly quiet for a Friday, cobbled high street for a cheap meal at the familiar Wetherspoons and a drink in the cosy Tavern bar. We disagreed about whether we should stay out (I was team “out out”, Ryan was not) but decided not to, so we went back to the hotel for a strange night’s sleep in an actual bed.

Scotland, Feb ’22: Mountain biking around Aviemore

Tuesday 8 February

We opted for a lie in and a chilled morning following our ice climbing foray up Jacob’s Ladder. Our roadside car park overlooking the immense Rothiemurchus forest and stunning, long Spey Valley was large and quiet enough for us to stay in bed until mid-morning, so while Ryan slept I did some research into what adventures we could embark upon next.

Ry cooked eggs in purgatory for breakfast (the BEST van brekkie going) and I pitched my proposal of an easy “rest day” bike ride. Ryan acquiesced and we drove down the hill along the now familiar Glenmore/Loch Morlich road into Aviemore, where we found a central, free parking spot opposite a bike shop. I’d researched a couple of mountain bike routes and had narrowed it down to the Burma Road loop or a route I found on Komoot called “Loch an Eilein – An Lochain Loop”. Ryan decreed that Burma Road looked like it involved too much uphill after the previous day’s excursion and in anticipation of an imminent big mountain day, so we decided on the latter.

We set off from Aviemore at 1pm, headed south through the town and joined the Old Logging Way, an off-road gravel cycle trail that goes back towards Loch Morlich and snakes around Rothiemurchus forest. We branched off right onto a singletrack path through thriving mixed woodland at Inverdruie and cycled at a leisurely pace to tiny Lochan Mor, a beautiful little lake set in a forest clearing. We’d already deviated from the route to see this lake and we were glad we did, as it was incredibly tranquil nestled in the tall green pines and bare broadleaves, whose leafless branches and twigs seemed to glow a strange lilac colour.

We continued through the trees to the quiet Loch an Eilean road and pedalled on to Loch an Eilean, a beautiful, larger loch with stony beaches, tree-lined banks and a small, overgrown castle set on an island. A couple of pretty whitewashed, mossy-rooved cottages overlooked the water, set back from the shore against a steep, wooded bank, and across the lake loomed the high, barren ridges of the Cairngorm plateau. The flat gravel track took us all the way around the loch, which was just as wild and beautiful from each side, and at its northeasternmost point we bore right onto a purple-brown heathland flanked by dark green firs.

The sun made an occasional appearance from behind the yellow-grey clouds and we enjoyed the thriving wilderness immensely. We crossed the narrow Cairngorm Club Footbridge over the wide, shallow, rocky Am Beanaidh river, then continued past purplish heather, golden grass and mixed woodland, which thickened as we climbed uphill towards Loch Morlich. Logging operations cleared the trees as we approached the loch, affording far-reaching views of the surrounding rolling peaks – the whole ride was set deep in the belly of the Spey Valley – and a lovely, rich pine smell.

We headed east along the southern bank of Loch Morlich. Forestry work necessitated a detour away from the bank which caused Ryan a significant amount of aggravation as it added a long, steady climb, which was just about made up for by the long, gravelly descent. Throughout this section red squirrel watch yielded no results, to my great disappointment. After a short ride along the Glenmore road we branched off into some trees and navigated the twisty way past Glenmore Lodge to the undulating gravel track up to An Lochan Uaine, the “Green Loch”, passing several family groups out for a walk.

Travelling up to the Green Loch would require us to double back on ourselves to return to Aviemore, but despite some protestation from Ryan I absolutely insisted on doing the route properly and not cutting the last bit out, partly because I’d wanted to see the lake ever since finding it in our Wild Guide. I’m glad we did because it was a stunning place. We pulled up on the western bank and marvelled at the incredibly bright blue-green water, which rippled gently below the high, steep scree bank of Greag nan Gall, dotted with hardy evergreens. I could see why it has its place in folklore as the colour, which (apparently) comes from fairies washing their clothes in the water, is remarkable.

It was magical but we didn’t hang about for long as I’d become acutely conscious of the soon to be dwindling daylight and the fact we still had about 9 miles back to Aviemore. We pedalled back the way we came and joined the other end of the Old Logging Road, which took us behind Glenmore Lodge and past the Reindeer Centre (sadly closed for the winter season). This track took us in a long, straight, thankfully fairly flat line parallel to the main Glenmore road and the north side of Loch Morlich, then all the way through the forest to Coylumbridge, Inverdruie and finally Aviemore. The ride was quick and a couple of these gravelly sections were particularly fun, with some sweeping corners and flowing descents.

We got back to the van shortly before 5pm in just enough daylight. It was a really lovely, non-technical, not-too-muddy gravel bike ride, Ryan’s occasional whinging aside (usually “I’m sick of hills”, “slow down you’re going too fast”, “I need a wee” or “25 miles is not a rest day”), and we decided that it’d be appropriate – almost necessary – to celebrate our cycling success and our last day around Aviemore with a trip to the pub. By some happy coincidence we’d parked right near the Balavoulin, by the Winking Owl where we’d watched rugby a few nights ago. It was extremely cosy and I learnt all about the skiing/shooting biathlon winter olympics event, which provided great entertainment on a big TV, over a Baileys coffee. For once we were reluctant to return to the van.

Warmed and watered, we drove back along the Glenmore road one last time and parked in a corner of the tree-lined Sugarbowl car park, just down the road from our previous overnight spot. We cooked up some very tasty fajitas and once again spent the evening revelling in the day’s success and plotting our next movements.

Snowdonia, Sep ’21: Coed y Brenin MTB, wild swim

Thursday 23 September

We woke for the last time in the Dyffryn Mymbyr valley and went straight back to the Moel Siabod café (see my post on the previous day for more about the café – amazing place) for breakfast. I had a vegan full English and Ryan had a normal full English and as before, we were very pleased.

We left the café and drove wistfully back along the lovely A5 valley, joined the picturesque A470 at Betws y Coed and travelled south for about 45 minutes , via Blaenau Ffestiniog (a remarkably grey town), before reaching Coed y Brenin Forest Park. We’d decided to make use of the mountain bikes one more time before heading home and this place prides itself on being “the UK’s first and largest dedicated mountain bike trail centre”, so we decided to try it as it was “kind of” on the way back. We parked up, took the bikes off the van and went to look at the ample selection of trails shown on a board by the large visitors centre.

Ryan was feeling a bit sluggish so he suggested that we do the blue “Minor Taur” trail and see how we get on. This is a 12km loop (which can be shortened to 3, 5 or 9km) through the forest that runs along the sides of the Afon Eden and adjoining Afon Mawddach. As expected of a blue trail it was fairly smooth, flowy and enjoyable, with nothing particularly challenging but a lot of fun nonetheless and a few quick sections. We felt sorry for a man right in front of us whose tyre blew out on a root near the beginning of the trail, but a little relieved as it allowed us to overtake and zip along the fun singletrack.

We were a little confused by the loops at first (the 12km route is made of 4 loops, making each section optional) and nearly went wrong at an unclear signpost, but heard someone explain it to their friend and followed them onto the right track. The forest was lovely – leafy, green and quiet, and riding along next to the river felt quite idyllic. We passed a rushing waterfall, disused gold mine and gunpowder works, which I’m sure have an interesting history but are now just a strange bunch of ruins, crossed a couple of bridges and had a pleasant, easy ride.

We found ourselves back at the car park after an hour or so and, well aware of the 5 hour drive ahead of us, decided resolutely to save the three red and three black trails for another trip. We did, however, have enough time to check out the “skills area”, which consists of four zones:

  1. Training zone – to practise braking, turning etc
  2. Singletrack zone  – four short runs graded green, blue, red and black
  3. Freeride zone – a pump/jump track
  4. Drop-off zone – a drop-off slab at the end of the red singletrack that can be taken from various lines

We started at the singletrack zone and had so much fun whizzing along the blue and red runs that apart from a quick go on the black, which was bumpy and twisty to the extent that it was much less fun, we didn’t do the other zones. The red was good but I actually preferred the blue because the lack of technicality meant it was flowy and very quick. The runs were short and we must have whizzed along them tens of times to the amusement of a group having a lesson (we weren’t in their way!) before finally packing it in and heading back to the van.

The last thing remaining on my “things I wanted to do [but Ryan didn’t really]” list was a wild swim, or at least a dip, and fortunately my Wild Guide informed me that there was a swimming place just 10 minutes down the road. We pulled into a quiet, leafy parking spot near the attractive, multi-arched old Llanelltyd Bridge, went through a little gate that led into an open field and walked over to the large, round pool described in the book, which sits under the bridge and forms part of the Afon Mawddach river. After a little customary cold-water hesitation I enjoyed a beautifully refreshing, if brief, swim-float around the cold, clear pool, and Ryan “enjoyed” an even briefer dip before retreating to the stony beach to watch me wallow around like an excited hippo.

Wallowing finished, I shivered into a changing robe and we trudged reluctantly back to the van, steeling ourselves for the impending farewell. Leaving Snowdonia was never going to be easy but the bitter sting of parting was softened slightly by the sunny weather and the pretty drive through idyllic mid-Wales and rural Shropshire before hitting the bigger roads.

And just like that, our busy week in North Wales was all over. We visited so many beautiful places and hiked, climbed, scrambled, mountain biked, road tripped, ate, drank and just about swam. As usual I don’t really know how to conclude, other than the common-or-garden words can’t do it justice, or simply even what a trip. One thing is certain: we’ll be back before long.

Snowdonia, Sep ’21: Mountain Biking the Marin Trail

Sunday 19th September

Betws-y-Coed

Being a Sunday and having no urgent plans for the day, we lay in until about 9am, had breakfast in the van in Betws-y Coed, then cycled into the town for a potter around before heading out on the Marin Trail.

Betsy (sorry locals, that’s probably a gross abomination of the name – it’s really pronounced bettus-ee-coyd) is one of my favourite towns. It’s a small place with attractive, straight-sided buildings of slate-grey stone that sits nestled in the Conwy Valley, whose high banks covered in swathes of dark green forest on every side of the town give it a self-contained feel, as if the outside world doesn’t exist. The A5 runs along the main street, which is lined on one side by hotels, bar/restaurants, outdoor shops and a couple of little convenience stores, and on the other by a large, central recreation ground and the wide, clear Afon Llugwy River. Mature broadleaf trees flourish everywhere – it’s probably the greenest town I know. An old-fashioned train station runs along the bottom end of the recreation ground, with a picture-postcard platform on the far side and a variety of small shops and cafes on the other, facing the small town car park that backs onto the rec. Almost always bustling, it really is a lovely place.

We bought an OS map from the Cotswold shop in the middle of town as we wanted to use the mobile app to navigate the Marin Trail (our previous maps were too old to have a scratch code). The shop had the most extensive collection of outdoor literature I’ve ever seen, and it’s a wonder we managed to leave without bankrupting ourselves. Pleasantly surprised by the sunny weather, we had a late morning drink in the garden of the Y Stablau bar next door and pored over the map.

The Marin Trail

We left the bar around 1pm, crossed the beautiful stone Pont-y-Pair bridge over the rocky Afon Llugwy and cycled a good couple of miles along the narrow road that ran parallel to the river, away from the town and up – quite steeply in places, and a sustained climb throughout – through lush, green forest towards the trail.

The mountain biking route – now called Gwydir Mawr a Bach – is described as a “must-do” classic red trail for “any serious mountain biker”. It’s a varied 15-mile loop through Gwydir Forest Park which is very well marked by about 75 wooden posts – there was no need for us to buy the map or use the OS app. We joined at post 51 as we decided it would be easier to start from Betsy, rather than taking the van to the “official” start car park.

The first section was through forest along undulating singletrack and involved some fun, technical, twisty bits and some frustrating get-off-and-push steep rocky-rooty uphill bits. My gears weren’t behaving at first and my poor old brakes were soft to say the least, but my otherwise dependable 13-year old Specialized Rockhopper took every bump and jolt in its stride.

Gwydir was such a lovely place to ride. Hundreds of varieties of mature broadleaf and evergreen tree made the forest overwhelmingly green, and when we paused to take it all in the quietly chirping, buzzing white noise betrayed the unseen abundance of wildlife. Sometimes a wider forest track would emerge onto views over thickly wooded valleys under an un-forecast clear blue sky, and once we found ourselves at the tip of a long, narrow lake, Llyn Parc, whose glassy surface reflected yet more thriving vegetation. We pedalled on blissfully, feeling like the only people on a timeless Earth.

The real downhill riding started a few miles in at about post 70. We were cycling side-by-side along a mixed-use gravel track when the forest broke in front of us and the landscape opened out to reveal a long stretch of hazy blue mountains on the horizon, behind several layers of thick forest in shades of green that ranged from Granny Smith to near-black. It was lovely and so still, but the tranquillity was quite literally shaken off when we took a sharp right turn off the path down a steep, narrow singletrack. Suddenly quick downhill riding was made technically challenging by awkward rocks, routes, twists and berms, which threatened to throw us into trees and down sheer banks at any second. It was terribly fun.

This went on for quite a while, and by the time it levelled out my brakes were close to non-existent and my hands, which had been gripping the bars for dear life, felt like I’d been riding a pneumatic drill. We were thrilled. The next bit was a long, gentle climb along another wide forest track surrounded by thick vegetation noisy with birdsong, which allowed us to recover, followed by some singletrack across a more open, heathy bit of forest with stunning, clear views of the blueish mountains ahead.

Another rooty, rocky bit of singletrack took us back down into thick forest, and from there the way back to where we’d started was a mix of sociable forest track, the odd technical section and some awkward, rocky uphill switchbacks, which necessitated the get-off-and-push approach a couple of times. The afternoon sun cast a dream-like, glowing light over the leafy tops of the trees in the valley below and all around us, and after a final unexpected flowy, bermy  section, we found ourselves back where we’d started at post 51, about 4pm.

The ride back to Betsy along the road we’d come up was lovely as it was long, smooth and downhill all the way. We slowed a couple of times for walkers but otherwise flew along, not bothering to pedal, appreciating the lovely valley on our right and feeling thoroughly immersed in the forest.

Evening

We crossed back over the bridge, locked our bikes up in the town and went into the Glan Aber hotel bar for a drink and a snack. We flopped into chairs in the back room by the pool table and guzzled down a cider, bag of crisps and a Snickers each, only just realising how hungry we were having eaten nothing all day except a poached egg on toast for breakfast. Enthralled by some weird racing programme on TV and pleasantly tired after a great afternoon absorbing the forest and concentrating hard on not ending up in A&E, we were reluctant to leave.

Refuelled, we went back to the van, left Betsy and drove a few miles north along the A470 to a petrol station near Llanrwst to pick up a steering lock I’d ordered (I’m like an over-protective parent). This drive gave us another lovely view of the forested valley from a different angle, and once again we seriously considered whether we really need our jobs down in southern England.

We planned to hike the Snowdon Horseshoe the next day as the weather looked good, so after picking up the steering lock and some snacks we drove back through Betsy and along the A5, which follows the Afon Llugwy through the picturesque, forested valley that eventually leads to Tryfan (see previous post about climbing that old chestnut). We turned left at Capel Curig onto the A4086, another attractive road that cuts between the high, wild peaks of Y Foel Goch and Moel Siabod, and stopped in a tucked-in layby set below the level of the road with stunning views towards Snowdon. Ryan cooked burgers while I did some van admin and watched as the sun set, bathing the heathy wilderness in golden light. Undulations cast long, dark shadows which accentuated the rugged ridges either side of the valley, and to the west the dramatic peaks of Y Lliwedd, Snowdon and Crib Goch were silhouettes softened by yellowish haze in front of the ebbing sun. It was one of the most beautiful evenings.

Dorset Adventures, August Bank Holiday 2021

Friday 27th August: The Square & Compass

We drove down in the evening and met our friend Gus in the car park near the Square and Compass pub at Worth Matravers. This pub is something special – I’ve mentioned it before but on reflection it deserves its own post, so I won’t go into detail. We turned up, ordered three Kiss me Kate ciders and drank in the garden, enjoying the mild summer air and sea views.

Once we were a pint or so in and approaching the giggly stage, a Spanish band started playing from a small gazebo next to us. We didn’t understand a word but appreciated some post-covid, impromptu live music, especially when the keyboardist came out with an impressive solo and the singer donned some bright yellow, horizontal-barred sunglasses with flashing rims which had no business being designed, manufactured or worn, but somehow added to the slightly trippy atmosphere.

My hazy memory suggests that we chatted to the singer and came away with some random band stickers, listened to a mind-numbingly repetitive encore song which had approximately two chords and precisely two lyrics – te and amo – , stayed until (and a bit beyond) last orders, got unintentionally drunk and (on my part) threw up outside the van. I’m not proud, so I’ll move onto the next day.

Saturday 28th August: Paddleboarding Winspit to Swanage, 6.5 miles

Gus slept in the pop-top roof of the van and reported that it was surprisingly comfy, although I suspect he’s too polite to say anything less. We had bacon and sausage sandwiches for breakfast, packed a day’s worth of paddleboarding stuff and walked the mile-or-so down the beautifully green, wild valley to the sea-level ledge at Winspit. After some exertion, the three paddleboards were pumped up and launched.

Section 1: Winspit to Dancing Ledge

We paddled away from the shore and looked back on the sheer limestone cliffs that dominate the long Purbeck coastline, topped by rolling green fields under a blue sky punctuated by fluffy, harmless-looking white clouds. The weather was dry and the sea was fairly calm, but an annoying north-easterly headwind hampered our progress and disturbed the water enough to make travelling in a straight line very difficult for me, as I’d borrowed Tom’s short-finned river/lake paddleboard.

A kayaker passed us and asked if everything was okay, which we perhaps should have taken as a warning. I told him we were fine and enjoying our trip from Winspit to Swanage and he looked at me as if I was positively mad.

After a frustrating half hour Ryan and I swapped, realised to my amusement that he was heavy enough to submerge the board, then both jumped on the family-sized board that Gus had lent us. We paddled along happier, towing the other board, speaker blaring one of my questionable Spotify playlists. Gus flew ahead at an impressive speed on his racing board, which cut through the water like soft butter.

We passed some big caves, resisting the temptation to take a closer look as we realised that reaching Swanage might be an ambitious task. Hedbury Quarry seemed to take forever to pass, and eventually we reached a very busy Dancing Ledge after about an hour and a half.

Section 2: Dancing Ledge to Durlston Lighthouse

Lunch at Dancing Ledge was a good idea as it broke up the journey, lifted our spirits and gave the tens of people sitting and swimming there a chuckle as we attempted to beach and re-launch the boards over the sharp-barnacled, uneven rock ledges. Ryan’s homemade Scotch eggs went down a treat – I think he’s finally found his calling.

The wind seemed to die down along this section, which was by far the most pleasant. We paddled happily along the calm surface as the sun warmed our skin, and even when it clouded over the air was still mild. “You’re Beautiful” came on the speaker and Gus fell in the water, presumably due to James Blunt-induced overexcitement, and we watched a handful of climbers making their way up the blocky limestone cliffs. It was interesting to see the areas we usually climb from this angle because the abseil-in trad climbing at Swanage tends to feel quite lonely, as if there’s noone else on the rock, but there were quite a few people fairly close together who wouldn’t have been able to see each other.

Section 3: Durlston Lighthouse to Peveril Point (AKA Peril Point)

After another hour along the long, straight section of cliffs we reached Anvil Point and Durlston Lighthouse, which had taunted us for so long by not appearing to get any closer. This stretch changed our course from due east to north-east, so the land no longer sheltered from the chilly northeasterly wind.

It took us a painfully long time to get past some people fishing at Tilly Whim caves, then along to Durlston Head. We stoicly rejected the offer of a tow from a jetski, paddled hard as the strange little turrets of Durlston Castle on our left barely moved at all, and fought the frighteningly strong currents around the corner between Durlston Bay and the open sea.

Eventually, after some soul-destroyingly slow progress, we made it around the headland and into the less-windy-but-still-quite-choppy Durlston Bay. This was tough news to swallow as I’d forgotten that this bay lies between Durlston Head and Swanage, so had expected to turn the corner and see the finish line. Exasperated but kind of bemused, we pushed northwards along the wild, empty bay using land reference points to check that we were actually moving, watched enviously as Gus made the whole thing look easy, and regrouped just before Peveril Point to agree how to approach the treacherous-looking thin, rocky spit.

Section 4: Peveril Point to Swanage beach

Acutely aware of the lookout station directly to our left and the numerous people observing our plight, probably with a mixture of concern and amusement, we adopted a plan to paddle aggressively past the rocky finger as if striding confidently into battle. Gus went first and again made it look easy, although he later confessed that his life had flashed before his eyes and he thought the end was nigh.

Ryan and I reached the choppy water, which looked as if a frenzy of sharks were feeding just below the surface, and paddled hard. I thought things were under control until I glanced left at the rocks and realised that we were making absolutely no progress whatsoever. I irritably expressed my concern when Ryan decided to point out (using his paddle, which at that moment should have been being used as a paddle) how mesmerising the calm water ahead of us was. Recoiling at the telling-off, he returned to paddling and we made it past the choppy section, thinking we were in the clear.

As it turned out, I was right to be suspicious about the rolling, mesmerisingly calm water that appeared abruptly beyond the choppy bit. We quickly realised that the flattest sea was in fact the worst, where the currents are strongest, and I watched hopelessly as the water pulled us effortlessly back. Ryan said something along the lines of “let’s go as hard as we can”, I refrained from sarcastically replying “you reckon”, and we paddled our sorry little shoulders off to get out of the current. The paddleboard we were towing was pulling us back and it took nearly everything we had to paddle fast and hard enough to escape, but by some miracle we eventually made it out before muscle fatigue set in.

From there it was plain sailing through the gentle water of Swanage Bay. We paddled triumphantly past the people watching us near the lookout station, between the moored up boats, under the pier and onto the southern end of the busy beach. Relieved to feel solid land beneath our feet, we checked in with Gus to make sure he struggled with Peveril (later named Peril) Point too – he reassured us that he did – and we packed up our stuff.

A few celebratory drinks

We traipsed through the busy streets of Swanage and quickly found ourselves in the tucked-away garden of the White Swan with a cold pint each. The customary post-adventure, post-near-death-experience debrief ensued and we laughed about how – with hindsight – oddly enjoyable the journey had been, and how – even with hindsight – it wasn’t quite all enjoyable. A combination of all day sun, exposure to the elements, hunger, fatigue, relief and on my part lightweightedness meant that the alcohol got to us quite quickly.

We caught the bus from Swanage to Acton with our big paddleboard bags and walked a mile across a field and along a quiet road back to the van. To the others’ delight I managed to flick a big dollop of wet sheep poo up the back of my legs, thanks to my April to October flip-flop policy. We met Tom and Cam (Tom’s girlfriend) in the car park, had a discrete barbecue as we watched the sun set, then returned to the Square and Compass to while the night away. After last orders we came back to the van to talk more rubbish and play card games, but I don’t remember much of that.

Sunday 29th August: Snorkelling and climbing at Winspit

Sunday was comparatively relaxed. After breakfast the five of us walked down to the sea-level ledge at Winspit and had a dip in the sea, with varying levels of reluctance. On jumping in I dropped my snorkel mask, which was thankfully retrieved by Ryan. The others messed around while I snorkelled over colourful rocks covered in all kinds of barnacles, anemones, plants and algae, underwater forests of long, gently swaying seaweed and fish, including large, tropical-looking red, yellow, blue and green wrasse.

We sat talking, eating, drinking and people/dog watching on the flat, rocky ledge, enjoying the sun. Around mid-afternoon we persuaded a reluctant Gus to try rock climbing, so we walked up the bank to Winspit west Quarry and Ryan led Bread Knife, a grade 4 sport climb up a corner crack with a couple of tricky-ish moves for the grade. I belayed while Gus trembled his way up (in Vans as Ryan’s shoes didn’t fit him, poor boy), until he reached a difficult section and decided that the most sensible option was to come down. He did a good job of putting on a brave face – we only realised his genuine terror once he was back on the ground.

I toproped the climb, came down, then toproped again to clean it once we realised Gus wasn’t getting back on the wall. Having successfully managed to put him off climbing, we walked back up the valley to Worth Matravers, all jumped in Tom and Cam’s van and went down the road to the Scott Arms at Kingston for dinner.

We were pleased to find that their outdoor Jamaican shack was open and serving food for the first time since we’d been there, so we found a table in the busy garden overlooking Corfe Castle and ordered various jerk dishes. We were all starving and the food seemed to take an age to come, but it was so worth it once it did – I’ve never had proper Jamaican food before and it was lovely – sweet, spicy and incredibly satisfying. We enjoyed the evening sun and the lovely view (but not so much the occasional sewage smell coming from a drain in the garden) over a couple of drinks, then Tom and Cam went home ready to work the following day.

The remaining three of us walked 3 miles back to Worth Matravers as the sun was setting, through a cattlefield and along a wild, narrow, steep-sided wooded valley on a path filled with slugs and stinging nettles. I’m glad I took a headtorch because it was absolutely pitch black when I turned it off. We emerged in a field at the back of Worth and walked to the Square and Compass via the cobbled village. The rest of the evening involved mead, jelly snakes, deep conversations, admiring the mustard walls and eclectic décor and a visit to the pub’s fossil museum.

Monday 30th August: Mountain biking at Puddletown Forest

We got up, packed up, had a classic van breakfast of eggs in purgatory and headed about half an hour west to Puddletown Forest, where Gus knew some mountain bike trails.

Puddletown Forest is a large area of Forestry Commission leased woodland interspersed by bridleways, firebreaks and footpaths. It’s quite hilly and after a climb up a sandy, gravelly track, we emerged from the trees onto a high, heathery ridge. Mountain bikers have carved natural trails through the heather and the first section we did was very narrow, overgrown and scratchy, which woke us up and started the adrenaline pump.

From there we went to find a couple of bombhole-type bits with flowy jumps and steep drop-ins. I’m confident downhill but very much in the learning stage of jumping a bike, so I messed about on my own while the other two flew around all over the place. Some of the jumps looked crazy – way too ambitious for any of us – and I wonder how on earth people manage them. The ground was nice, compact dirt, but the tree roots were a bit annoying as they threatened to throw wheels off course at the most inconvenient moments.

We spent the rest of the afternoon riding around looking for more trails, which cropped up either side of the bridleways and provided some lovely singletrack riding. Some of it was quite committing (mainly because of the loose ground, roots, steepness and drop-offs) but we made it round fine. The trails have been named but the location feature of Gus’s Trail Forks app was playing up, so we had no idea where we were or how to get to each one; instead we ended up riding along until we saw something that looked good. One trail in particular had a lovely section of flowing, S-shaped berms, and another had some fun, technical rooty downhill.

I felt quite sluggish after a long weekend of exertion, drinking and a less-than-ideal amount of sleep, but I really enjoyed the riding and I’ll definitely come back. It’s the kind of place where you have to spend time to work out how to get around, but I’m sure that once you do it’s easier to link the trails together and cut down on the firebreak/gravel track riding.

Tired and hungry, we accepted that the weekend had to finish at some point and made the unanimous decision to soften this blow with a team McDonalds. We packed the bikes up after 3 hours of riding and met at Ferndown Maccies, where we ate naughty food and agreed that we can’t leave it too long until the next adventure… and so concluded a pretty epic weekend.

Mountain biking Glenlivet, Braemar village: Scotland Day 7, Sep ’20

We spotted a poster in our overnight lay-by advertising a mountain bike trail on the nearby Glenlivet estate. The drive there was twisty but very picturesque, through seemingly endless rolling hills covered in green fields, brown heather and dark pine forest. We arrived quite early and had a bowl of soup and a bacon roll in the lovely log cabin café, which was surprisingly busy considering it was halfway up a hill in the middle of nowhere.

We set off on the trail and for a while, were a little underwhelmed. After a long, gradual climb up to “Gauger’s lookout” there was some nice, flowing singletrack along part of the blue trail through “Spooky wood”, then some flat pedalling along a gravel track to join the red trail. Then came a very long uphill section along the “Forest road”, which gave us a chance to admire the majestic pines, firs and spruces that towered above us, growing thickly on either side. It felt like we were newcomers to their ancient forest domain.

After what felt like a long time, we reached the top of the hill and the landscape opened out, spoiling us with views of rolling, sun-dappled moors, fields and rich green forests, with layers of hazy blue mountains in the distance. We stopped to run up to the viewpoint at the top of the hill, stare in awe at the vastness of everything around us, and get blown around by the wind.

The Cairngorms is a different kind of wilderness to the West Highlands, where we’d come from. Mountains roll lazily over and around each other in the distance, huge green fields hug hills where farmers have managed to tame patches of soil and brown, heather-covered moorlands stretch out to the edges of old forests where trees huddle secretively in huge, ancient communities. The rivers are wide and calm and the whole panorama gives the upland plateau a strange sense of three-dimensional enormousness, stretching both vertically and horizontally as if it was its own complete, self-contained world.

Once I had satisfied my poetic inclinations with these observations, we remounted the bikes and set off on the downhill section of the red route. Our dubiousness of the Glenlivet MTB evaporated in an instant. The next few miles were an incredible mix of very (and sometimes very, very) quick, smooth singletrack which started down the side of the open, heathery hill, then zigzagged through an immense forest, punctuated all the way by black graded features – drop-offs, jumps and steps. It was probably the longest continuous downhill section both of us has ever ridden, and we flew down it feeling high as kites.

We swapped bikes for a little bit at one point and I was reluctantly sold on the smoothness and handling ability of Ryan’s new full suspension Giant, in contrast with my 2008 hardtail, but to its credit the old Rockhopper handled everything the trail threw at it (apart from the biggest jumps and drops, which I was too chicken and probably too inexperienced to try). Having said this, the brakes were very weak following the harrowing Torridon loop that we’d completed a couple of days previously.

After what felt like a blissful age of zipping through the trees, the gradient finally levelled out and we rejoined the gravel forest road back towards the car park. I was buzzing so much from the descent that I don’t remember much of the ride back, apart from that the trees were lovely and the moorland was lovely and that if it weren’t for the gargantuan climb and the fact that we wanted to explore some other places, we’d do that downhill section again in a heartbeat.

The last noteworthy bit of the trail was back in the forest near the car park, where there’s a 1km orange section consisting of wide, smooth, flowing, huge jumps and berms, which I rolled along (admittedly quite quickly) wishing that I’d learnt how to jump before I got there. Then we were back at the cabin café, where we did a celebratory couple of laps of the little pump track before loading the bikes onto the van and leaving, a little reluctantly, for Braemar.

Braemar is a village in the middle of the Cairngorms National Park, about an hour south from the Glenlivet MTB centre. The drive was very picturesque, through the heart of the landscapes I described above (am I getting lazy?), and some of the hills were so long and steep that we had to stop a couple of times to let the van’s engine cool down, poor old thing. We drove past the Balmoral Estate where I was delighted to see my first red squirrel of the trip, then instantaneously distraught as it ran across the road and got hit by a car. It was very sad, but so quick that it wouldn’t have felt a thing. I, on the other hand, was mildly traumatised.

I’d been to Braemar a couple of times before and I wanted Ryan to see it. It’s a timeless, picture-postcard old village with some kind of royal history, nestled in the heart of the Cairngorm hills and just big enough to have a bustling atmosphere. It has a handful of independent shops, a couple of pubs and hotels, a castle, a castle ruin and a Highland games centre.

We parked in the central car park and went for a wander. We found a really interesting shop called McLean of Braemar full of traditional Scottish gifts and homeware-type bits, like antler-handled knives, drinking horns, celtic jewellery and all sorts of tartan and tweed. After a good poke around we decided that being mid-afternoon, it was time for the pub. We tried The Flying Stag but it was full, so we ended up in Farquharsons Bar and Kitchen, a lovely pub on the river right by the car park.

Covid restrictions meant that we had to sit down at a table and couldn’t end up chatting to locals at the bar, like we usually would. Nevertheless, the staff were very friendly, the cider was cold and the food was lovely. It was nice to be in a pub after a few days eating and drinking in the van, especially as lockdown had meant that we hadn’t had many pub-going opportunities all year.

We left the pub (reluctantly) and went off in search of a suitable overnight spot. We found an excellent, discrete place near a duck pond, just a few minutes out from the centre. It overlooked the village, which was tucked neatly in a bowl surrounded by high, heather-covered hills. We spent the evening relaxing with a few ciders, munching on van snacks and drunkenly expressing our appreciation of how lovely Scotland is. That night the sky was jet black and crystal clear, and the stars were breathtaking.

Mountain biking the Torridon Loop: Scotland day 4, Sep ’20

After much deliberation about the day’s activities, we decided that taking on a renowned mountain bike route would be more fun than hiking up Liathach in the clag. The Torridon loop is a 30-mile trail around some of the vast glens of the northwest Highlands, rated on various websites as “hard”, “advanced”, “expert” and “very hard”. Irresistible.

We parked in a layby outside the pretty lochside village of Torridon and set off along the road. The first few miles took us through the belly of the vast Glen Torridon, flanked by the towering Torridon Hills. The road flowed through the valley like the river that ran alongside it (unsurprisingly enough, the River Torridon), its path dictated by the unheeding topography of this great Scottish wilderness.

Eventually we turned right off the road and cycled along the east side of Loch Clair. A couple of ownerless black labradors ran over to investigate our intrusion on their land, and we lamented the fact that we weren’t born into rich Scottish estates. We took a left along a muddy path through a wood and encountered our first hill; I spent the climb telling Ryan all about the Jacobite movement in the 17-18th century, a piece of Highland history which I find fascinating. I’ll spare the detail. At the top we realised that we’d climbed the hill unnecessarily as we’d missed a right fork which would have kept us on the flat, but it was worth it for the fast descent along a gravel track to rejoin the route.

Another bit of gentle cycling saw us across the sweeping farmland around the head of the small Loch Coulin, then along the River Coulin. By this time we were suspicious about the lack of ascent/descent/anything that felt like real mountain biking, especially on a route that was supposedly so difficult. And rightfully so – we had no idea what was to come.

The gradient gradually increased, and soon we were chugging up a steep track running parallel to the river. We reached a small bothy, had a quick nose inside, then crossed a bridge by a waterfall. It was uphill from there, along a narrow path littered with rocks large enough to render the way largely unrideable. We found ourselves on a wide, upland heath surrounded by yellow grass, purple heather and hills hidden in cloud. Then the rain came.

It crept in silently but quickly; one minute we could look back on the hills and valleys behind us, the next we were engulfed by wet mist. Eventually the ground levelled out to a high, scrubby plateau and we jumped back on the bikes.

The next section was totally unexpected and pretty epic. A long, extremely rocky couple of miles of incredibly technical downhill over big chunks of solid slickrock, with some very tight corners and definitely-don’t-want-to-fall-off steep bits. Our bikes clattered over massive rocks in a quick – slow – quick – slow pattern, and we finally understood why the route was graded difficult. It was a shame the rock was so wet as the slipperiness slowed us down, but it was an incredible trail nonetheless. I hit a rock side on and ended up over the handlebars only once, which – considering I was riding my 12 year old, bashed up hardtail – I thought was good going.

The most annoying thing was the frequent channels cut in the path, which consisted of two slabs placed vertically opposite each other with a big gap in the middle for drainage. Our rear tyres whacked the harsh edge of the slabs repeatedly, so  when the ground finally levelled out I wasn’t surprised to find a slow puncture. We pumped it up, then made our way through a forest section and across a railway track to the hamlet of Achnashellach. For some reason, it seemed strange to be in civilisation again. We munched a sandwich in a layby, swapped my inner tube and carried on west along the road for a few long, grey, very wet miles, wondering whether we were actually having a good time.

After what felt like a long time we turned right and followed a gravel track up along a river that headed into the mountains, which were ominously dark and shrouded in thick cloud. It was just about rideable, but the big, wet rocks on the path made it very awkward, and the wheel-bashing channels had returned. After a lot more time we reached the coolest bothy I’ve ever seen: a two-storey cottage with two big rooms downstairs and three “bedrooms”. It was the stuff of horror films, but would have been a great place to stay.

If we weren’t so stubborn, the next couple of hours might have seen us lose the will to live. We walked our bikes most of the way along the soaking wet, boggy, rocky path up, up and up. At first we tried to retain some element of dryness by avoiding the worst of the bog, but before long we were wading through rivers halfway up to our knees and dragging our bikes through dark mud and mire. It just kept going. The most soul-destroying part was that while the cloud above was bright grey where the light of the distant sky shone through, the cloud ahead and on all sides was dark grey. The kind of grey that announced that we were surrounded by high, steep ridges, which meant that we hadn’t reached the top of anything – we were effectively trapped in a big bowl of misery.

We stopped at the high Loch Choire Fionnaraich and did the thing we only ever do when in dire straits: had an energy gel. It perked us up enough to push on up the hill, barely speaking. After what felt like another age we pulled up onto a kind of rocky plateau pass between Maol Chean-dearg and Meall Dearg. Our relief was dampened by the pressing concern that we’d soon start losing daylight, so – happy to be back in the saddle, but still racked with anxiety and suspicion at what this wretched day would throw at us next – we pedalled along the rocky path, startled a few red deer which had inexplicably chosen this godforsaken place to graze, then flew past Loch an Eoin and another couple of small lochs (imagine the dead marshes from Lord of the Rings) which were backed by mysterious ridges. The trail was steep in places, very technical, quick and (most notably) often indistinguishable from a narrow, fast-flowing river.

Despite the treacherous weather and unforgiving terrain, we made it across the wild plateau quite quickly and relatively unscathed. I wish my GoPro hadn’t died, as we weren’t in a position to take photos and I can’t convey with words how wet, fast and rocky the trail was. We emerged on the other side of the plateau and the gradient got steeper, the rocks slipperier and the drops bigger. Our bikes (mine in particular, poor old thing – Ryan was on his new, full suspension Giant) clattered down the rocks begging for mercy, and my brakes had gotten soft to the point of uselessness. But ever since we’d been going downhill, I was secretly having a good time again.

It’s a shame the weather was so bad, my brakes were shot, we were exhausted from lack of food and the light was fading, as otherwise the way down would have been amazing. It was unlike anything we’d done before, but we couldn’t quite appreciate it or go as quickly as we’d have liked. We’d climbed for hours and it was a long, steep descent, well worthy of any hard / expert / advanced / very hard label. As the houses of Torridon and the little silver speck of the van appeared, we made our way down the final technical slickrock descent, knackered and very relieved.

We got to the van soaked to the bone. We threw the bikes on the rack, shivered awkwardly into dry clothes and fumbled around arranging a wet bag, which everything went into. I made the best hot chocolate we’d ever tasted and we polished off a pack of shortbread in minutes, then we drove the short distance back up the hill to the picturesque layby we’d stayed in the previous night. Ryan cooked the best carbonara in the history of the universe and we didn’t take anything for granted that evening: food, warmth, dryness, cider and rest. We slept well that night.

Torridon loop conclusion: Largely unrideable. Probably a different story in good weather / a big group / plenty of daylight. Would recommend if you like Type 2 fun. Scenery is probably lovely. Oddly enough, would do again.

NB: The photos don’t do justice to the awkwardness of the trails – the awkward bits were too awkward to move along while taking pictures.

Lakes Rampage 2020, Day 6: MTB Whinlatter, Canoeing Derwentwater

Whinlatter bike trails

We drove the short distance up the hill from our camping spot to Whinlatter Forest Park and started on the Altura North trail, a 6-mile loop graded red (“difficult”). A fairly arduous climb with a few exposed sections rewarded us with a stunning view of the surrounding mountains and forest, then we descended through the trees along a good (if slightly wet) singletrack trail with flowing berms, technical rooty sections and some slippery rocky corners. The last part was one of the best bits of trail I’ve ever come across – a big switchback section down a flowing gravel track with a thrillingly steep drop on one side and quick berms, which gave little margin for error.

Exhilarated by the long, fast descent, we started off on the Altura South loop, which was 5.5 miles long and also graded red. Like the North loop, this started with a wooded climb which led to some lovely downhill sections with jumps, technical features and smooth, flowing bits, although nothing quite compared to the last section of the North loop.

Ryan’s knees were still suffering from our 12-hour hike a few days before, but for completeness we finished with the Quercus trail – a 4.5 mile blue (“moderate”) loop. It was certainly more easygoing but definitely worth doing, with some lovely open sections and smooth bits of singletrack.

Although my experience is limited to just a handful of purpose-built MTB trails, those at Whinlatter are without doubt some of the best I’ve done. I wrote about them previously (see blog post) as I’ve been once before, but then I didn’t have time for the Altura South and I was extremely keen to go back. All three trails are very well-maintained, offer stunning views of the surrounding mountains, valleys and forests, and provide an exciting variety of tough climbs, technical features and fast, flowing downhill. A great morning, and a great outing for my trusty but battered 2008 Specialized Rockhopper, Rocky.

Derwentwater canoeing

We wanted to make the most of the day, so after a quick snack we headed down to Derwentwater and hired a two-person canoe from the marina. I’d never canoed before and Ryan had only been once, but we were soon paddling merrily along. The single oar took a bit of getting used to as opposed to a double-ended kayak paddle, as did the synchronised manoeuvring, but it was good fun and we stayed surprisingly dry. I learnt that the back person follows the stroke of the front person and steers by angling/dragging their oar, and the front person paddles along, humming obliviously and swapping the oar from left to right and vice versa as and when they fancy. Or that’s how we did it, anyway.

We had two hours, which was enough time to paddle anti-clockwise around about half of Derwentwater. It’s a large lake with several wooded islands, one or two big enough for a posh house and others no bigger than a car bonnet, which is surrounded on all sides by high, majestic peaks. Halfway round we approached a medium-sized island, admiring how we could see the smooth, brown pebbles several feet below through the clear water, and beached the canoe on a bank that was lush with overhanging foliage. The island was deserted, although people had clearly lit campfires between the tall trees in the middle, and we enjoyed a Thatchers Haze each before paddling on. On our way back to the marina we were treated to a fly-by from a fighter jet, a couple of carrier planes and a helicopter.

Satisfied with the day’s activities, we drove the short distance back to Keswick and found ourselves back in the Wetherspoons (as a trainee lawyer, I consider additional time spent in an old courthouse building invaluable experience). We agreed to climb Corvus the next day (see previous day’s post for background), drove along Derwentwater’s east bank back into the beautiful Borrowdale valley, and camped in a discrete layby.

Lake District Rampage 2020, days 1 & 2: towns, hiking the Old Man of Coniston, Grizedale MTB trail

Saturday 4th July – Windermere, Coniston

We woke up in a quiet layby near Kendal just east of the National Park, having made the 6-hour journey on Friday evening. We did the grocery run in Kendal Morrisons, giddy about the prospect of our first van trip since before lockdown, and drove to Windermere for a poke around.

Windermere was pretty and as we wandered through its neat streets lined with slate-grey buildings, it felt as if the world was tentatively waking up. The pubs and restaurants reopened post-covid for the first time today and there was a quiet bustle about the town, which I expect is usually a bit too touristy. It’s quite small so we weren’t there long before driving down the road to Bowness (definitely too touristy). We walked behind the shops and bars along the edge of Lake Windermere, where geese, pigeons, crows and other annoying types of bird congregated, and looked out over the misty grey water.

We nearly went into a bar for a drink but decided to carry on to Coniston. The half-hour drive via Ambleside (bustling outdoorsey town, will return) gave us our first taste of the narrow, winding Lake District roads, and we parked in our tucked-away camping spot early afternoon. Coniston is a lovely village set against the scenic backdrop of rugged, high fells and we spent the afternoon enjoying our first post-covid pub visit in The Crown, eating fajitas in the van and talking rubbish.

Sunday 5th July – Old Man of Coniston (hiking), Grizedale Forest (mountain biking)

We climbed the Old Man of Coniston (803m) – see a previous post about a previous (solo) hike here -, a lovely mountain which towers over a valley of old copper mines and overlooks a panorama of fells, forests and lakes, its steep, winding path made interesting by the ruins of old mining ruins, long, forearm-thick wire cables and a high, black tarn. The weather was surprisingly clear until about twenty minutes before the summit, when the clouds thickened and the wind picked up. It’s amazing how the weather can change in the mountains – we watched as thick white cloud rolled unstoppably over the summit ridge and down the escarpment, like the froth spilling over the edge of an overpoured pint. At the top Ryan actually grabbed me as a particularly strong gust of wind caught me off balance, sending us into fits of giggles.

It took us two and a half hours’ quick walking there and back along the same path from Coniston (including a couple of stops to snack on the summit, faff around the old slate ruins and scramble down to a crystal clear, waterfall-fed river) and we were pleased that contrary to the forecast, the weather had held up. It looked to worsen that afternoon so we’d planned to do the North Face mountain bike trail (graded red – advanced) at Grizedale Forest, twenty minutes from Coniston.

The bike trail was very technical and very different to others we’ve done. What seemed like more than the first half was uphill, on fairly gradual gradients made complicated by large, sharp rocks protruding at all angles and constantly threatening to throw wheels off the trail or bottom-out the chainring. There was no smooth, flowing downhill, real berms or jumps, but there were quick rocky sections towards the end and  it was really enjoyable in a different way – it felt much more “raw” and rugged, which was exacerbated by the fact that we didn’t see another person on the trail. Surrounded by an untamed melee of firs, ferns, grasses and foxgloves, with the occasional clearing showing off the magnificent mountainscape behind the dark, glassy Coniston Water, it felt like wild, “proper” mountain biking.

Soaked, muddied and elated, we loaded the van and drove an hour-and-a-half to Wasdale Head. That evening we planned a (really) long hike for the next day and went to bed blissfully unaware of the epic that was to follow. I’m still gathering up the energy to write about it…

Lazy weekend (feat. a 20mile bike ride, a scrapbook and a climb)

Deviating from my usual trip-away-type post, I thought I’d scribble a few words about a weekend spent making the most of a lack of plans, no van and a poorly man.

There were seven of us drinking at Hill HQ on Friday night, which was spent talking happy nonsense about nobody knows what. Ryan was due to play rugby on Saturday but he’d been ill the previous day and still wasn’t in great shape, so after cooking breakfast he spent the morning dying on the sofa while I cleaned up the night’s wreckage, painted a mountain and read a book.

By early afternoon I was twitching with restlessness, so I announced my plan to go out walking in the New Forest. Sicknote gallantly objected and insisted that he accompany me on a bike ride, so we cycled out into the drizzle. We stopped under a graffiti-covered concrete bridge over the wide river Avon, squawked and whistled like little kids in return for an echo, then rode past flooded fields, pretty villages, damp ponies and striking amber beeches, birches and oaks to the Red Shoot pub.

I realised the severity of his condition when he ordered a Coke instead of a beer, so although the pub was lovely we didn’t hang about long. On the way back we passed through (and nearly brought home) a herd of inquisitive pigs, and watched in amusement as they were shooed out of a garden by a boy with a broom. Ryan kept adding bits to the route, either to show me more of the area or to tire me out, and after flying down a long, muddy track we returned as the light dwindled.

The evening was unusually quiet and alcohol-free, but lovely and chilled. We de-mudded, he cooked and I made an adventure scrapbook, sprawled on the floor with a Pritt stick, a wodge of photos and Red Bull TV in the background.

Sunday threatened to be a quiet one and I couldn’t get to rugby because a) I’d made New Forest plans and b) was vanless, so after a morning of cooking, painting and last minute dashing to the shop for Cam’s birthday card, we headed down to Calshot indoor climbing centre to do the first bit of roped climbing I’d done in way too long.

I hadn’t been there for about 18 months, and since then they’ve added a “twiglet” feature, new bouldering cave and more autobelays. We did some toproping, leading and autobelaying, and I messily attempted the twiglet’s crack climb. Having borrowed a mixture of Tom, Adam and Millie’s climbing stuff, we were done fairly quickly due to too-tight shoes and Ryan’s lingering illness, but it was good to get down there and I promised myself I’ll go more often.

The weekend finished as it had started – around the table at Hill HQ, this time over a Sunday roast. To conclude – lovely, relaxing and over-too-soon.