Zimbabwe 2025 (7): Tattoos, Wild is Life

Wednesday 12 March

My first tattoo

The time had come, a day later than planned, to get tattoos. After a breakfast of ham and cheese croissants I  headed out with Reece, Iz, Tilman and Ryan to the artist’s house in a leafy suburb of Harare. Several of Reece’s friends had recommended Kazz and we hoped that there would be time for each of us to get a small, simple piece as a permanent souvenir.

Kazz was tattooed, tousle-haired and very attentive. We talked through ideas and she came up with designs on an iPad while we hung around in her garden, eyeing the exotic-looking plants and huge boulders perched above a swampy green pool (she’d just moved in). She called us back into the studio room and tattooed four of us in turn while the others watched: Iz chose an acacia tree on her forearm, I had Mac the Imire elephant on my ankle, Tilman had an outline of Africa above his elbow and Reece had Nyami Nyami, the Zambezi river god, on his forearm. There wasn’t time for Ryan, but he didn’t mind.

The process took about 3 1/2 hours and I was blown away by Kazz’s artwork. First I showed her my idea, a line drawing of the elephant’s face, which she used to trace over a photo that Iz had taken at Imire. We discussed the size and location, then she printed and cut out a stencil so I could test it. I decided against having it on my foot as planned as she advised that it’d fade quite quickly, so I settled on my outer ankle/calf and lay face-down on the bench, watching birds through the window. It hurt a little, but wasn’t unbearable – just a scratchy feeling, which dulled as I got used to it, and took about half an hour. I was delighted with the result, as were the others, and we left clingfilmed and very happy – I thought my first tattoo well worth $60.

Our joy didn’t last long. It was 2:45pm and we were booked onto a wildlife sanctuary tour on the edge of Harare at 3:30, but we couldn’t leave Kazz’s house in the car as her partner had taken the electric gate fob. She was very apologetic as we climbed over the high garden wall onto the street. After a frantic phone call to Shelley, she and Bryn arranged to come and pick us up with Gus and Dan in tow.

Wild is Life

We traipsed along the road in the afternoon heat and were collected after a short walk. The drivers raced across Harare and we arrived at Wild is Life just a couple of minutes late. It was a much fancier setup than I’d expected, and I wondered if Shelley and Bryn had downplayed it so we had a nice surprise. If so, it worked: a path bordered by flowers and succulents led us to an open lawn dotted with trees, thatched buildings and – unexpectedly – an enormous , roaming kudu, which I gave a wide berth. It felt posh, a bit like Imire lodge. By the end of our tour, I understood why tickets cost $100pp.

Herbivores: elephants, giraffes, wildebeest & deer

We crossed the lawn and joined a group gathered by a baby elephant, Nina, who was nuzzling her human carer like a needy child. She was captivating. Our guide (Sean) explained how the animals are all orphaned or rescued, and as he spoke I looked beyond Nina to a wide, grassy plain, where giraffes, kudu, wildebeest, deer and a few small elephants roamed and grazed harmoniously. It was a wonderful scene and seemed quite surreal, having just come from the busy streets of Zimbabwe’s capital city.

Nina was taken away, trailing behind her carer as she held his hand with her trunk, and we were led up to a raised platform and handed leafy sticks. The giraffes knew the drill and strolled over with their easy, rolling gait. They used their teeth, dextrous lips and long, black tongues to strip the leaves as we held them up, and I was amazed at the strength in their skinny necks – we watched, amused, as a parent quickly retrieved a child dangling from a stick. It was amazing to stand so close to – literally underneath – such strange, elegant, nonchalant creatures.

We returned to the lawn and watched the elephants get led away in a line, jostling each other and being reprimanded when they attempted to upend some of the boundary logs that separated the visitor area from the plain. A small flock of runner ducks appeared from nowhere and wheeled past us, to our surprise, and we were ushered on to the next part of the tour.

Afternoon tea

Having not eaten since breakfast, we were delighted to hear it was time for afternoon tea. We walked over to a large, high-ceilinged, warehouse-like building, which we found to be filled with sofas, plants, rugs and random furniture that gave it an eclectic, shabby-chic and oddly stylish feel. Scattered tables were laden with teacups and tiered plates of cakes, sandwiches and scones, and we gladly established our place in a corner to settle down for an indulgent snack.

As we ate, a peacock strutted between the sofas, which seemed almost as bizarre as Gus sipping tea from a dainty little cup. We watched the herbivores through large, arched windows, then headed outside to see how close we could get. The grazing area came right up to the building and we leaned over a wooden fence to stroke Noodle, a friendly wildebeest, then climbed a spiral staircase to a balcony to feed handfuls of pellets to the giraffes; some took them more gently than others. Like at Imire, it struck me how several species of large mammal mingled together in one great, patchwork herd, content to share their space and utterly unfazed by their disparate neighbours.

Lions

After tea we were led behind the building to a wooded area. A deep purr betrayed the next part of the tour before we arrived at the enclosure. It was a thrilling, chilling sound that I felt as much as heard – a resonating, bass rumble that penetrated the air as if it were surrounding us. Two female lions – Savannah and Lucy – greeted us expectantly, purring and prowling along a high wire fence just a few feet away, lean muscles rippling through their sand-coloured coats as they observed us with a cool, black-rimmed, golden gaze. The guide threw them a couple of slabs of horse meat, which they plucked up before withdrawing into the trees. It was the closest I’d seen lions and I was struck by their size and composure – they were equal parts graceful and powerful, and they made me feel quite puny.

Pangolin

My disdain for the human race deepened during the next part of the tour.  After a short walk from the lion enclosure, the group spread out along a large, semicircular bench in front of a man holding Marimba, aged 20, one of the world’s oldest known pangolins. Sean explained how this bizarre, armoured mammal is an elusive but highly sought-after target for poachers and traffickers, who profit from their meat and scales. These are made of the same keratin as our hair and nails but are believed in some cultures to have medicinal properties. Marimba is constantly accompanied during daylight hours by her carer, who cycles round with her in search of ants, and sleeps in a secret location unknown to almost all the staff. He might have the best job ever.

She was shown around the group at a distance, as pangolins are susceptible to human diseases, then released for a wander. She  unballed herself and pottered along the ground on her two hind legs, leaning forward with her curved, blunt-clawed “hands” crossed in front of her, her long, heavy tail acting as a counter-weight. She was bigger than I’d expected,  very cute, very slow, and – apart from her scales – heartbreakingly defenceless. We all fell in love with her immediately.

Hyenas

Next up, by way of contrast, were the spotted hyenas, which lurked in a wire enclosure just across from Marimba’s arena. Athena and Harry were each tearing into roughly hewn sections of meat, and we watched with grim fascination as their wide jaws – the most powerful in proportion to their size of any mammal – crunched effortlessly through bone and muscle. Harry rolled playfully around with his dinner while Athena dismembered a whole horse head, its toothed lower jaw dangling by a sinew.

Unlike the lions, I thought their beauty subjective: they looked like dogs that had been genetically modified, with huge, bear-like heads, close-set eyes, rounded ears, sloping backs and bow legs. Despite their appearance and their indiscriminate butchery, I found them oddly endearing – their tails wagged excitedly as they chomped and the guide explained that they’d been rescued as pups from a botched trafficking attempt at Harare airport.

More posh food

We made our way back to the big, central building, which was a relief as a throng of midges had descended on us as we watched the hyenas. We sat on a long table by an outdoor bar and made the most of that installation – I enjoyed a sparkling rose and discovered a love for baileys-like amarula in quite close succession. It was surreal to sit and relax so close to the herd of herbivores, which had been joined by a few ostriches, separated from us only by a boundary made of logs.

I wandered over to see an ostrich and was warned off getting too close by Sean, who explained that they’re powerful, spiteful animals that peck things for no good reason beyond being able to reach them. This was evidenced by a half-gouged tabletop, accessible to their beaks – which were slightly downturned at the corners, giving them a look of constant irritation – by virtue of long legs and necks. I eyed the bird warily and went off to stroke Noodle, who was much more accommodating.

Back at the table, a waitress came over with a large tray of canapes. The nine of us enjoyed filo pastries, smoked salmon, olives, cheesesticks, little quiches and other bite-sized snacks I couldn’t name, accompanied by a constant supply of drinks. We sat and talked under the trees as we watched the herd grazing contentedly, and I wondered if my life had peaked.

Evening

We left around 7pm, reluctantly, and headed back to the house in preparation for an early start to drive to Lake Kariba, where we’d be staying on a houseboat for the next few days. Once packed, we spent the evening checking our tattoos and discussing the merits of each animal at Wild is Life – and so ended another memorable day in Zimbabwe.

Zimbabwe 2025 (6): Chilli & Chill in Harare

Tuesday 11 March

Morning run

This was set to be a fairly relaxed day, given yesterday’s big excursion to Imire game reserve, and given that the tattoo session we thought Reece had booked for today was actually tomorrow. At 8am I headed out for a 5km run around the block with Reece, Gus and Dan. We took the same route as Reece and I had done on our first morning in Harare, along quiet roads through leafy suburbs.

We passed large houses with leafy walled gardens, clusters of ramshackle stalls selling fruit and textiles, children in smart school uniforms and a few randomly scattered maize fields.  Again I noticed how the elevation and temperature sapped our energy and left us puffing; as per the previous run, we returned to the house hot and more than a little relieved to stop.

Iz, Tilman and Ryan met us around the big table in the outdoor bar, looking annoyingly bright-eyed and bushy. We chatted over coffee and toast, jibed Reece for mixing up the dates (in good faith – he’d assumed the burden of planning the whole trip) and discussed logistics: the people carrier we’d borrowed from Kieran had gone into the garage for a brake fault Reece had discovered on Sunday and we needed to collect it, but not before we’d had an exclusive tour of the family chilli sauce factory (so exclusive that there are no photos).

Chilli sauce factory tour

We hopped into the Landcruiser and Reece drove us to an industrial block about 20 minutes away. We found Paul in the company office and, after a few family introductions/reintroductions (we’d lost track of who we’d met at Saturday night’s party), we shuffled over to a bustling warehouse, where – over the din – Paul talked us through the process of manufacturing chilli sauce. It was an efficient operation and a sensory overload: hot, noisy and busy, and the air had a spicy tang that made me want to sneeze. Tens of workers bustled and chatted around machinery, conveyor belts and vats, moving quickly and doing all sorts of semi-fathomable jobs. It was interesting to see the process, from dried chillis in huge sacks to neat bottles churning out of a labelling machine and stacks of laden, shop-ready crates, and to hear about the transition from generators to solar energy.

Driving in Harare

The tour concluded and we stepped outside into air that seemed newly cool and calm. We walked across the industrial compound to a garage, where we found Kieran’s car. It needed a driver and I’d already volunteered, in a moment of foolishness or bravery, to return it to the house while Reece drove the Landcruiser. Paul, bemused, handed me the keys, chuckled something about “wait till Kieran hears a chick drove his bus”, and offered to reverse it for me. I hoped that my dismissive eye roll hid my nerves about Harare’s treacherous roads.

To my relief I executed a perfect manoeuvre out of the compound and followed the Landcruiser onto the street. Ryan, Iz and Tilman proved a supportive crew as I navigated the city’s lawless traffic, sticking closer to Reece’s bumper than I’d usually dare – we couldn’t afford to lose them as none of us had phone signal for directions. I actually enjoyed the freedom of driving without British etiquette, and found that other drivers seemed to accept pushiness without any sign of irritation. It was hectic but surprisingly straightforward, and it helped that the automatic people-carrier felt just like my beloved old Mazda Bongo.

We returned to the house around 11:30, unscathed, and hung around the bar for a while, playing darts and watching Charlie the bitey parrot destroy an empty beer can. At 1pm the seven of us split between two Landcruisers and headed out for lunch with Shelley.

Lunch at Beach House

Beach House is a stylish, tropical-themed restaurant situated in the middle of Borrowdale racecourse. The sky threatened rain, so we crossed a footbridge over a moat to a thatch-roofed seating area and settled at a long table. As we talked and waited for our food, I watched colourful little birds – red bishops and yellow masked weavers – singing and darting around the bushes and grasses surrounding our island. The food was worth the wait: I had bread, chicken liver stew, chips, onion rings, a bao bun and some of the best sushi I’ve ever tasted, washed down with lavender gin. We left very full, very satisfied and a little chilled by a breeze that had blown in.

Chilled afternoon/evening

On the way back we stopped at a liquour store to stock up for our upcoming four-day boat trip on Lake Kariba, then returned to the house for darts and dix-mille. After a while I became a bit restless, so donned my swimming costume, goggles and hat (to everyone’s amusement) and did some laps of the pool. This agitated Roxy the terrier, who proceeded to chase me around the edge, and it turned into a game of race the dog – she beat me at lengths (just) but widths made her furious. Eventually I gave in, not wanting to damage Roxy, and we reconciled.

Shortly afterwards Paul emerged from the house with a black BB gun and we took turns shooting metal pellets at  empty beer cans stacked across the pool, with mixed success. Once we’d filled the garden with metal, we returned to the bar and the usual games resumed, lasting most of the evening. In between games Shelley produced a lovely selection of crackers, cheese and cold meats and we sat around enjoying each others’ company, feeling very at home.

Zimbabwe 2025 (5): Imire Game Reserve

Monday 10 March

Journey to Imire

We were all up and in the Landcruiser at 7am, raring to see our first big animals at Imire game reserve. Ryan and I bundled onto foam cushions in the boot (which is perfectly acceptable in Zim, but heaven forbid you drive without radio tax) and Reece drove us to Living Waters Bistro at Marondera, an hour southeast of Harare, for an en-route coffee stop. The view from the road comprised sprawling fields, scrub, occasional villages and – thanks to one wrong turn – a dirt track flanked by tall thickets of grass and pink and white cosmos flowers.

The café had an indie vibe, served very good coffee and broke up the two-hour journey nicely. Shortly after clambering back into the car, we turned off the main road onto a wide, pothole-peppered dirt track through verdant scrubland. Being shaken around in the back was fun until the novelty wore off; after over half an hour of lurching and teeth-rattling, we were quite relieved to reach the gate to Imire.

Imire Game Reserve

On arrival Reece was informed that we were booked in for the following day, but to our great relief they managed to squeeze us in. We parked under some tall trees and wandered over to a grassy area bordered by a handful of fancy-looking thatched lodges, where our friendly guide – Anyway – served us a quick cup of tea and flapjack. It all felt quite posh. We were soon ushered over to the safari truck, a small, raised flatbed with five rows of benches under a canvas top. The seven of us piled in with a small handful of other visitors (to their disappointment, I suspected) and we set off on the game drive at 10am.

A motley herd: zebra, warthog, kudu, wildebeest, deer

The truck passed through some heavy-duty gates and we immediately glimpsed – to our delight – a couple of huge white rhinos dissolving into the long grass. We continued along a bumpy track that carved between swathes of grass and bush and came to a green, open plain – a small air strip – teeming with animals. Zebra, warthogs, kudu, wildebeest, egrets and deer (I missed the species, to my continuing chagrin) grazed together in a strikingly harmonious herd, barely looking up as the truck stopped a short distance away, and we watched in awe. I think everyone liked the family of warthogs best, as the piglets trotted around erratically with their little tails raised. Anyway was very knowledgeable and very funny – we learnt that the stripiest side of a zebra is the “outside”, and that a kudu is so-called because its balls go kudu-kudu-kudu when it runs.

Nzou the elephant & her herd of buffalo

After a few minutes spent gawping at the four-legged assembly, we continued along a rough track that took us past a small herd of antelope and stopped in a wide area of open grassland. A throng of about 20 big, dark brown buffalo ambled towards us, followed by something I’d been so desperate and so excited to see: an African elephant. She approached with slow, easy grace, plodding softly behind the herd, chaperoned by a ranger who looked incredibly small and vulnerable but completely at ease. Nzou was orphaned at two years old and, at 53, is the oldest elephant at Imire. She thinks she’s a buffalo – she leads the herd and, if she feels that her authority is threatened by a bull, she simply squashes him.

I did my best to listen to the guides’ commentary, but it was difficult to pay attention in the presence of such a magnificent distraction. Nzou came within a few metres of the truck and stood among her herd, idly chewing and twitching her enormous trunk, ears and tail. I couldn’t believe how big she was. She’d clearly been rolling around (I hoped no buffalo were involved) as her wrinkled, leathery skin was caked in dried mud, and as we ogled this incredible creature she deposited an enormous poo that landed with a dull thud. Meanwhile the buffalo grazed placidly in the long grass, never straying far from their matriarch.

Crispin the crocodile & a caterpillar clump

We moved off after about 10 minutes and passed another herd of antelope before coming to a large, thickly vegetated pond, where a fat-looking Nile crocodile basked lazily by the bank, as still as a log. Anyway explained that Crispin had been at Imire for over 40 years after being removed from a local village and he used to have a girlfriend, Margaret, but she left him (escaped) a few years ago. Crispin showed no sign of moving, so we continued up a small hill to look at a cluster of large, fluffy caterpillars attached to the trunk of a tree.

Running white rhinos

The truck backtracked past Crispin, who still hadn’t budged, and took us to another area of bush and long, yellow grass. We turned a corner and saw three white rhinos ahead, which emerged from the grass and trotted along the track in front of us. Their rear ends were muscular and astonishingly wide, but they moved with surprising finesse. They sped up as they turned off the track and, with their short legs hidden by the long grass, they could have been floating. We rounded another corner and spotted them again – three great, grey boulders with ears and horns, watching us cautiously from a golden sea. In an instant, and for no apparent reason, they started running; they emerged from the grass and crossed the track behind us with alarming speed, but it was clear that this was just a gallop. I’d love to see a full-throttle 30mph charge, from a sensible distance.

Giraffes

Once the rhinos disappeared we returned to the gate, crossed a road and entered the other half of the reserve. This side seemed more open, undulating and somewhat wilder. We drove towards a huge, granite outcrop which sat atop a thickly wooded hill, surrounded by a great sweep of bush-studded grassland, and were surprised to notice a large head peering at us from above some nearby treetops. The giraffe ambled inquisitively towards the truck and posed for some photos. Like the elephant and the rhinos, I was amazed by its size and – for such a big animal – its elegance. It looked too tall and slim to be able to stand upright, but did so with impeccable poise.

Lone white rhino

We passed a younger giraffe, then continued along the track to a dead-end section that took us to a single white rhino. We stopped just a few metres away, which felt quite bold given the sudden mini-stampede we’d just witnessed, but this one seemed perfectly content. Anyway explained that “white” rhino is a misnomer stemming from “wide”, which refers to the lips; by comparison to this broad-mouthed ground grazer, the black rhino has a small, hooked mouth for eating leaves. As we observed each other, I noted the long, horizontal marks along her leathery sides, presumably from scratching, and the deep skin folds at her shoulder (or elbow?). I wondered what she thought of us.

A wild landscape

We returned to the main track and coasted through a vast, open expanse of grassland that afforded magnificent views of rippling plains dotted with deer, swathes of woodland and the singular, bulky silhouette of a distant mountain range. After 10 minutes we came to another pair of huge white rhinos grazing peacefully on a grassy hillside. Behind me I heard Gus say “are those elephants?”, and just as I was about to call him an idiot I saw two great boulders on the top of the hill ahead. I grabbed my binoculars and confirmed that they were indeed elephants, moving slowly towards another safari truck, but even then – stood next to a couple of large trees – they looked too big to be real.

Into the bush

To our dismay, the truck turned away and headed across the hill towards a clump of trees. We were a little surprised when it left the dirt track and entered an impenetrable-looking thicket. The outermost passengers – including me – dodged whip-like branches and three-inch acacia thorns as they flung themselves towards us, while we tried to work out the purpose of this detour. Reece suggested that Anyway had hoped to call over the giraffes, but – for the sake of his truck and his clients – backtracked on seeing a handful of vervet monkeys. We left the bushes the same way we’d come in.

Elephants: Meeting Mac

Back on the track, we headed up the hill and realised with sudden excitement what that might mean: that we hadn’t missed the elephants. We rounded some trees and saw them, two adult males heading slowly towards us through the long grass, which didn’t even reach their bellies but came up to the shoulders of their tiny human chaperone. They moved in slow motion, gently flapping their ears and munching grass pulled absent-mindedly into their mouths by their incredible trunks. It was one of the most magnificent things I’d ever seen.

They came right over to the truck and stood contentedly as Anyway and another ranger told us all about them. It was hard to take in what they was saying in my awestruck state, but I gleaned that Mac – the larger of the pair, who is over 40 and has two enormous tusks that touch at the tip – was rescued as a baby and raised at Imire. We watched delightedly as they snuffled up pellet feed. This soon attracted a family of warthogs, the bold, cheeky scavengers of the bush, which appeared from nowhere whenever it was someone else’s feeding time. I was touched by how gently the elephants shooed them, with a slow, careful sweep of their trunks.

Reece, who could charm anyone into anything, had a word with the ranger and before we knew it, he was climbing out of the truck. He stood in front of Mac, who raised his enormous trunk, took the hat from Reece’s head and put it into his mouth. He returned it a moment later, slightly mucky. The ranger ushered the rest of us out of the truck (in my excitement I knocked over my cider) and we took it in turns to feed Mac some pellets. I couldn’t believe what was happening.

Standing next to an elephant is the only way to appreciate its sheer size; photos diminish them. I was eye-level with Mac’s chest and a fair bit shorter than his trunk, which – even when curled at the end – came down to the ground and was covered in thick, wire-like black hairs. He could have sent me flying without batting an eyelid but, towering over me, he took the pellets from my outstretched hand very gently, twisting his trunk so I could drop them in. I was amazed by the dextrousness of his “fingers”, which he used to shovel the feed into his mouth. His skin was leathery and wrinkled, which helps with moisture retention and temperature regulation, and there was an inexplicable wiseness in his long-lashed eyes, which observed us calmly from beneath a pronounced, bony brow. I could have stood there forever.

When my turn was up, Mac performed the hat trick on Ryan and held the cap in his mouth for so long that we thought he planned to keep it. He looked like he was smiling when he finally gave it back. Once everyone had fed him, we snapped a group photo and clambered back into the truck, not quite believing that we’d just met an elephant.

Just before we headed off, Mac took a fancy to the tree the truck was parked under and reached up, trunk outstretched, for a leafy snack. He seemed even more enormous from underneath his great, upturned head. This earned him a (rather bold) telling off from the ranger, as the branch above us was huge and would have squashed us if it came down on the canvas roof. It was bizarre to see such a big animal yield so readily to a sharp rebuke and a few whacks on the chest (which definitely wouldn’t have hurt) – he brought his trunk down like a dog that knew it’d been naughty. With that, the truck pulled away and set off across the grassy plain.

Black rhino

We passed a small herd of glossy cattle, then entered a wooded area and came to a pair of black rhinos – a mother and daughter. They were smaller than the white rhinos, with narrow, pointed lips and two sharp horns. We pulled up in a clearing and a ranger scattered some pellets on the ground, which brought the warthogs running, tails lifted in their funny way. They didn’t seem to bother each other much and the warthogs, although a little wary of getting too close, could almost have been little rhinos themselves. We watched them eating together, accompanied by an armed guard, and I stewed over how humans could have knowingly pushed such beautiful, gentle-looking animals to critically endangered status.

After a few minutes wondering at these quiet creatures, we continued through the trees. There were a lot of deer shading themselves in the wood, but so many species look so similar that I couldn’t say what they were. We left the canopy and bumped along a track towards an area of taller trees. A giraffe emerged and strode inquisitively over, accustomed to being fed, then stood and watched us amicably. We drove into the trees to look at several more giraffes, which – until they were in the open – blended seamlessly into their textured backdrop, then sped off for lunch. It was 1pm and we were very hungry.

A scenic (and delicious) lunch

The lunch spot was set on a raised plateau overlooking a lake surrounded by verdant forest, with posh toilets, a permanent bar and a built-in stone seating area. The food was spectacular: chicken curry, crunchy veg, bread, kale-like rape greens and sadza, which is a thick, polenta-like porridge made from finely ground cornmeal, followed by sponge cake. We ate at a rustic stone table, looking out for animals around the lake. Once I’d finished I wandered off and found a few bluetail scrub lizards, a nightshade with a tomato-like fruit and a wobbly rubber fishing lure that I threw to Tilman, the group prankster, to revenge some earlier misdemeanor.

Cattle, zebra, monkeys & an ant

After a blissful hour spent eating, talking and watching the chefs chase off a small herd of hump-shouldered cattle, we returned to the truck. We went on a quick detour to watch a gathering of feisty zebra irritate each other under a cluster of trees, then returned to the lodge area via wild, grassy plains.

Back at the lodge, we wandered over to the central lawn and sat down for a drink. In a moment I was up again to watch a pair of white rhinos that appeared on the other side of a high but disconcertingly skinny wire fence that separated us from the game reserve. When they disappeared into the long grass, I turned my attention to a huge ant making its way up one of the big trees that shaded the lawn, then to a family of vervet monkeys playing boisterously by one of the thatched huts. After our drinks, we settled the bill with Anyway and returned to the car, all utterly overjoyed with our experience at Imire.

Tobacco farm tour

The fun wasn’t over: we left at 3pm and took a short drive to Reece’s friend’s tobacco farm for an exclusive tour. Mark lives down a long dirt road in a rural area overlooked by “baboon mountain”, a long, prominent granite hill. He gave us a warm welcome, as did his delighted alsatian, then took us to see how tobacco is made. First he showed us round a couple of tall, barn-like buildings situated on a large yard near the house and talked us through the drying and grading process:

  1. After harvesting, the large tobacco leaves are clamped tightly into long wire frames and laid out ready for drying.
  2. The frames are hung on racks in big barns which are heated by a furnace to stifling temperatures.
  3. Once dried, the leaves are collected, sorted into grades, put into wooden crates and stored in huge stacks in a pungent (but not unpleasant-smelling) warehouse.

To my delight, and once Dan had finished chasing the chickens in the yard, we bundled into the open back of a pickup truck to go and see the tobacco fields. We sped along rough dirt tracks that wove through the wonderfully green, maize-filled landscape and I couldn’t stop grinning – I felt like a rogue, unsupervised child on the best school trip ever.

After ten minutes we arrived at an enormous field full of neat rows of tobacco, which grows shoulder-high with huge, floppy green leaves  issuing from a single stem. Mark picked a few leaves, clamped them into a wire frame and passed it round – it was surprisingly heavy. He explained the growing process and casually warned us of puff adders, which are particularly venomous and occasionally appear between the orderly rows.

We hopped back into the truck and went to see the solar power system, which has transformed the farm by providing reliable, clean electricity. It was situated by a neat little settlement of squat brick and red-painted houses, where washing hung on lines and children stood smiling and waving at us. This was nice to see, as Zimbabwe has a serious unemployment problem and the farm has supported the rural community by creating around 200 jobs. Our tour concluded on that happy note, and we bumped back to Mark’s house perched precariously in the pickup.

Mark’s lovely mum greeted us and sat us all down in a homely, open-sided lounge room overlooking the domed end of baboon mountain, which hulked on the horizon above swathes of green fields and a clear blue garden pool. She brought pots of tea and a delicious, freshly made pistachio cake, and we sat talking with Mark and his parents for nearly an hour. Once again I was struck by the warm, unconditional hospitality of Zimbabweans and their willingness to welcome strangers into their home with nothing but kindness and generosity.

A whirlwind journey home

We said our goodbyes just after 5pm and began the two-hour journey back to Harare. For the first hour we remained on rough dirt roads, passing occasional pedestrians and cyclists travelling between invisible rural destinations. The atmosphere in the truck was muted compared with the babble that morning; I’d called shotgun and when I turned around, everyone was asleep except Gus, who – despite being really quite broad – was squeezed into the middle seat. The sun’s orange glow deepened as it set, bathing the verdant landscape in soft, warm light, and a clear moon appeared in the deep blue sky to the east. We stopped on a long, straight stretch and everyone bundled out to pick pink and white cosmos flowers for Shelley. This simple, spontaneous act felt strangely special, in a wild, quiet place between the rising moon and the setting sun.

Eventually we hit a main tarmac road and Reece really had to concentrate as the dark crept in. I regretted sitting in the front as it meant I bore witness to several near misses: terrifying overtakes, sudden swerves, people milling frighteningly close to the edge of the road and unlit vehicles that appeared out of nowhere. On the outskirts of Harare, Gus emitted some kind of alarm call and it was only after Reece started braking that I saw the man running across the three-laned road. I’d have missed him if it weren’t for the white soles of his trainers.

Thanks to Reece’s diligence, we arrived back at the house at 7:30pm without incident. Despite our lateness Paul cooked up an excellent braai (barbecue), which included lean, tasty impala steak and traditional boerewors (beef sausage). We spent the evening rabbiting on about how incredible Imire had been and were all in bed by 11pm, happily exhausted.

I know this is a long, rambling post but feel strangely humbled by that day. At Imire I was struck by the respect and acceptance that different species showed for each other as they grazed together, the unlikely gentleness of Mac towards pesky warthogs and fragile humans, and the way that wilderness (although managed) – if we let it – sustains a perfect kind of equilibrium between animals, plants and landscapes. That was the day I knew that Africa had got into my blood.

Photo credits – everyone but especially Isabelle, who is responsible for most of the best ones!

Endnote: on 28 April, less than two months after we visited, Gomo – Imire’s 22-year old male black rhino – was tragically killed by poachers. Imire are fundraising to help bolster their security systems and help protect their incredible animals against such horrific incidents. Please consider supporting their efforts by donating here.

Zimbabwe 2025 (4): Recovery day

Sunday 9 March

After the party, a slow day was both inevitable and necessary. We crawled out of bed and convened around the table at 10am in various states of disarray, clutching glasses of water and piecing together the night’s events. Reece partially revived us with coffee and toast and we distracted ourselves by playing darts and gingerly attempting to befriend Charlie, the African grey parrot, who sits on top of his cage and bites everyone except Shelley. Around 11:30 I felt well enough for a walk around the garden and went off to look for bugs and examine plants.

Lunch at Coimbra

At 1pm we headed out for lunch with Paul and Shelley at Coimbra, a Portuguese restaurant near Harare’s central business district. Paul explained that there’s not a lot to do in the CBD and he avoids it as much as possible – apparently it’s seen better days. All we saw from the car park was a handful of skyscrapers and unbecoming concrete buildings, so I heeded Paul’s advice and lost all interest in visiting the city centre. Reece gave a parking attendant a few dollars to watch the car and we went in for food.

The restaurant was nice inside – a bit plain, but cool and clean – and the food was very good. We started with bowls of soft, white bread that came with melted garlic butter and a delicious, pour-on chicken stock. For mains almost everyone went for the half chicken and chips, which was tender, tasty and very filling. I felt much more human after some salty food and sweet mango juice.

More games

On the way back to the house we stopped at a smart-looking shopping park to grab a few more drinks. We got back in time for a game of dix-mille and the England-Italy Six Nations match, which kicked off at 5pm. The evening involved a lot of games: dix-mille, darts, g’day Bruce (to the Germans’ initial confusion), ping pang pong and taps; a lot of laughter and a Shelley special prawn linguine, which was to die for. We were in bed by 11pm, excited for a trip to Imire game reserve the following day.

Zimbabwe 2025 (3): Shawasha Hills run, local market, one big party

Saturday 8 March

Run around Shawasha Hills

Once again, Reece and I were up early to run before the day’s heat kicked in. His lovely friend Emma picked us up at 6:30 and drove us to a leafy car park 20 minutes from the house. We were heading into the Shawasha Hills, a rural area on the northeastern edge of Harare, to complete an 11km off-road loop.

We set off on a dirt track and were soon heading up a steady incline. I really noticed the thin air despite the relatively easy pace. Thankfully the stony trail and unfamiliar scenery, which consisted of distant ridges and diverse hillside shrubs, grasses and trees, kept me occupied. Being the FT (T meaning tourist) I stayed at the back, having decided that I was most expendable in the event of some kind of chase. Although slightly conscious of the numerous snakes, spiders, scorpions and other perilous wildlife I’d read about, I was heartened by the others’ lack of concern.

We backtracked once after missing a turn, then the narrow path became almost obscured by thick  bush. We hacked our way up, down and back up rough slopes at a slow jog while spines, thorns and seeds did their best to ravage our limbs. We failed to find another overgrown turn and bushwhacked our way, slowly and as the crow flies, up the second hill to a trig point, where we stopped to take in the view. A great patchwork of grassland, trees and maize fields sprawled across a low plain to the east, backed by undulating, bluish silhouettes of layered ridges. The view west was less aesthetic – a huge, terraced mine, presumably gold, had been carved into the hillside like a great, industrial scar. I turned my back to it and, as I had at Domboshava the evening before, drank in the vastness of the landscape.

We found a narrow path and continued down the south side of the hill, through more bush and down some steep sections made slippery by clayey soil. At the bottom we  came to a marsh and waded through ankle deep muddy water, our view obscured by taller-than-head-high grass. We emerged grinning, feet sodden, and picked up the pace along a track that cleaved a straight course between the swathes of endless grass, stopping briefly to watch a long-tailed widowbird (I think) land on a tall reed, its disproportionately long tail swooping elegantly after its little black body.

The rest of the route was relatively flat and straightforward, apart from the sudden appearance of a stray dog from the grass (they can be aggressive) and a small river crossing. We passed a glassy lake that captured blue sky and fluffy, white clouds in a perfect reflection, and returned friendly “hellos” to occasional pedestrians. I wondered where they’d come from and where they were going, until I realised that little rustic buildings were dotted amid the grasses down subtle, red dirt paths. Given the hindrance of the earlier terrain, it was a relief to regain some time in the last few miles, although I struggled noticeably more than usual in the heat and altitude.

We got back to Emma’s car covered in scratches and grass seeds, which stuck securely to our tacky skin. We picked up a couple of hitchhikers on the potholey road, dropped them at a garage at the edge of Harare and returned to the house. Emma left to rush to a christening and Reece and I took a much-needed shower. On reflection, I gave the run 10/10 for scenery, varied terrain and excitement.

Local market: snacks & a bushbaby

After a quick coffee, Reece, Iz, Tilman, Ryan and I hopped into the car and went off to Old Stables, the local Saturday morning market. Tens of gazebos filled a walled square, shaded by a handful of big trees with fern-like leaves. It was like an exotic version of an English farmer’s market, with stalls selling fruit, flowers, baskets, pottery, plants, clothes and hot food. We circumnavigated half of the busy square, pausing for Reece to buy (and try) cheese, then returned to the hot food area near the entrance.

While perusing the food stalls, we spotted a lady wearing a tiny bushbaby on her shoulder. Not wanting to accost her, we watched from a distance as she let someone pet it, but I took a small step in for a closer look and she started telling me – quite enthusiastically – all about its rescue from a bushfire and the carnage that can stem from cigarettes and barbecues. I returned her enthusiasm and before I knew it – to my delight – the bushbaby was on my shoulder, its enormous, conker-brown eyes shining like lamps. After a moment it sprang back to her in a surprising burst of propulsion and I thanked her profusely. Afterwards, Reece took great pleasure in telling me how they wee on their fingers to help them stick.

We whizzed round the other half of the market, stopping to buy fridge magnets and peaches, then shared some delicious chicken and pork gyozas at a shady table in the middle. Satisfied with our purchases, we went back to the house and spent a couple of hours cooling down at the bar (which always involved darts, dix-mille – a dice game – and a lot of laughing) while Shelley prepared food for the evening’s much-anticipated family party. As usual, I spent a while scouring the garden for wildlife.

Airport run for Gus & Dan

The five of us set off around 3pm to pick up Gus and Dan, the final British arrivals, from the airport. On the way there we got caught in a deluge like we’d never seen. Rain hammered relentlessly at the windows in a loud, angry torrent and  quick, brown rivers coalesced from nowhere at the edges of the roads. It was pleasingly dramatic, and thankfully only held us up by a few minutes.

We sat in the airport bar and watched, bemused, as tens of people gathered at the window overlooking the runway. Something happened and they erupted in jubilant uproar. We assumed that a long-delayed plane had finally arrived, or perhaps a football team, but – on asking a barman – Reece confirmed that the event was nothing more than the landing of a common-or-garden Kenyan Airlines plane. The excitement was short-lived and the crowd quickly dissipated as we sat and drank our beers, baffled.

Shortly afterwards we spotted Gus and Dan from above, negotiating their way through passport control. Dan clearly did a better job of this as she sailed through and collected their luggage, while Gus stood for a suspiciously long time at the kiosk, at one point – to our concern – slapping his hand down on the desk. Thankfully they were both allowed into the country and we met them with joy, delighted to have finally assembled the fellowship.

The rain had completely cleared on our journey back to the house, as if nothing had ever happened. Gus and Dan were shown to their room, then – as family had already started arriving – thrown headfirst into the party.

The Party

I won’t and can’t recall much of the party that evening, but can share that everyone had a really great time. I’ll list a few highlights, instead: meeting a lot of very lovely people, Shelley’s stellar table spread, Paul’s diligent bartending, at least five dogs, Gus and Dan diving into the pool (fully clothed), Dan dancing on a stool (sunglasses on), darts, Ryan with Uncle Kieran on his shoulders, arm wrestling Kieran (who didn’t win) and Luca (who would have if he’d tried), dancing with a clawful of Cheeky Chilli crisps, Bryn and Kieran’s Birkenstock cheek-slap contest and an awful lot more dancing to DJ Shelley’s excellent music.

My lesson of the day: Zimbabwe is the best kind of wild.

Zimbabwe 2025 (2): Build-up to a Domboshava sunset

Friday 7 March

Morning run

Having just emerged from an English winter full of cold, dark mornings, it was blissful to wake up to warm air and bright sunshine. Reece and I set off on a run around the block at 8am, before the heat of the day set in. Harare sits on a plateau at an elevation of 1,500m above sea level and – as Reece had warned – 6km felt a lot harder than usual (particularly the long, steady hills) due to the lower air pressure and warm temperature.

I enjoyed the run regardless, which was mostly on the road except for the occasional dirt “pavement”. We passed lots of leafy, walled gardens filled with trees, people going about their mornings, a couple of schools and a few rickety-looking market stalls. At one point a lanky teenage boy started running after us and I gripped my phone a bit tighter until Reece turned, unperturbed, and complimented his pace. At this, he sprinted off ahead – his feet barely touching the ground – before returning to his friends. That was a bit weird.

Errands

We returned to the house, puffing, and took brief respite in the pool. After a breakfast of croissants with ham and cheese, the six “kids” – Reece, Bryn, Ryan, Isabelle, Tilman and myself – drove 20 minutes to Kieran’s house, which is set in a fancy-looking golf estate with its own security guards, to collect his people carrier. We met Kieran’s lovely wife Trish, had a quick look around the garden – which backs onto the fairway and reportedly receives the occasional golf ball (and cobra in the pool) – and continued on errands.

We stopped at a petrol station (full service) to get fuel, then went to a pharmacy to consider a course of malaria tablets. Shelley had done the right thing and advised us to take them, with the caveat that if we didn’t then we could take antibiotics home just in case, and on learning that they’d set us back $60 each – and might make us feel rough – I decided against it. We bought coffee from a little cart instead.

After a quick detour to drop off a deposit for tattoos, we returned to the house and chilled for a couple of hours. I chatted to Iz by the pool while the boys wound each other up playing darts until lunchtime, when we all headed out to Tin Roof, the local bar/bistro that Reece used to manage.

Tin Roof

Set in a small shopping park, we found Tin Roof to be a lively place with an open-sided, indoor-outdoor feel, cheap drinks and a great menu. We sat at a long table and tried to keep up with the introductions – Reece’s family seemed to know just about everyone in there. Between us, Ryan and I had a calamari salad and a half chicken with chips, both of which were very good. An ice bucket of beers kept thirst at bay.

Venturing outside Harare

We got back to the house about 4pm to fill a coolbox, then headed straight out for an easy hike and “sundowners” – drinks and a sunset – at a place called Domboshava. Reece conducted the 40-minute drive, which took us north out of rush-hour Harare and provided our first experience of more rural Zimbabwe.

We passed a few farms and a lot of barren-looking scrubland, then came to a shabby-looking village where numerous huts made of just about every material under the sun – wood, chipboard, corrugated metal, tyres, cloth and cardboard – seemed to merge into one another. A boundary was formed between the potholed road and small maize fields by plonked cars, trucks and a ditch completely filled with black sacks and plastic rubbish – Reece explained that public bin services were non-existent. People milled around everywhere and we soon found ourselves behind a pickup truck rammed with a dozen haphazard-looking passengers.

After more potholes, fields, assorted settlements, scrub and the occasional smart-looking bungalow, we turned onto an even bouncier dirt track and soon arrived at a small car park. We each paid the $10 tourist fee for entry to Domboshava and set off on our walk.

Domboshava hike and sunset

Domboshava is an area of granite hills that features caves, unusual rock formations and ancient paintings. The landscape was unlike any I’d seen before: a great, rolling mass of bare, grey-pink rock rose up ahead like the back of a great, sleeping beast, punctuated by occasional fine cracks, thin streams and inexplicable pockets of greenery. We followed painted arrows up the side of the hill, stopping to watch colourful lizards that basked in the sinking sun and darted away as we approached, their legs wheeling comically in a quick, circular motion.

Barefoot and new to Zimbabwe, I remained conscious – to Reece’s amusement, I think – of the snakes I’d read about, whose venom can kill or maim in diverse and unpleasant ways. However, this fear was overridden by my fascination with the vegetation that somehow took hold in the seemingly soil-less granite, which ranged from patches of yellowish grass to thickets of shrub and swathes of verdant trees. In the “wild” for the first time, I was in my element.

As we gained the rounded crest of the ridge, the greenery receded. A low sun cast exaggerated shadows across the rolling undulations ahead and illuminated the thin layer of yellow-orange lichen that covered the rock, such that the land appeared to glow copper-gold. This, combined with the ominous, blue-grey sky on the horizon, gave the other-worldly impression that the normal order of light – bright above, dark below – had inverted. We could have been walking on Mars.

We followed the wide, humpy ridge all the way to the summit, which was marked by a round trig point. The view was spectacular: a 360 degree panorama of surrounding hills arranged in long, layered ridges, separated by wide, flat-bottomed valleys filled with fields, plains, forests and scattered villages. The sky above was clear and blue, with occasional fluffy white clouds drifting above the horizon, and we could hear some happy Friday evening clamour coming from indistinct parts of the basin below. We cracked the beers and I wandered alone across the strangely undulating plateau, drinking in every detail and looking for bugs, while the others sat and watched the sun as it fell towards the westerly hills.

Dark clouds crept towards us from the south and east in long, thick fingers and I returned to the others just in time to see the sun setting beneath a foreboding, grey veil. It sunk behind the horizon through a clear, lava-red stretch of sky, which faded at the edges to a perfect watercolour of orange, pink and yellow that accentuated the hazy blue silhouettes of distant peaks. As the soft breeze picked up, we looked east to thick columns of localised rain and flashes of lightning and decided that it was time for tea.

We descended the side of the hill via a couple of huge boulders balanced extraordinarily on natural plinths, connected by a very small surface area. They looked like abstract, unlikely works of art, ready to topple at any minute. The light faded and we found our way back by more painted arrows. As we approached the trees at the bottom, the air became alive with the incessant buzz of cicadas and the distinctive trill of a nightjar. We returned to the car just as the darkness closed in, and on the journey back – in between being brain-rattled by the roads and wincing at a few close overtakes – I watched lightning explode inside clouds above the hills as if someone had put a light bulb inside a balloon.

Home

Back at the house we sat at the bar and played Iz and Tilman’s game “Quixx”, which was good fun despite my record-low score, and Shelley made us plates of ham and cheese rolls while the rains came again. We each negotiated our individual attendance on the morning run Reece had planned and – in light of the run and tomorrow’s upcoming party – went to bed around 11pm.

My main takeaway from day two? Sundowners are a winner.

Zimbabwe 2025 (1): Journey to Harare

Words can’t do justice to my heartbreak at leaving Zimbabwe, nor the existential crisis I’m battling on returning to my desk job in England. It’ll be a tricky series of blog posts to write for several reasons – we did so much, a lot of wonderful people were involved and there are so many details I’d like to include to capture the vibrant blend of colours, shapes, sounds and feelings I experienced throughout those two weeks (noting that some censorship will be necessary to preserve our collective dignity).

For context, our friend Reece invited six friends to stay with his family in Harare, Zimbabwe’s capital. Prior to this we knew very little about the country, but were keen to learn from the locals and excited to travel somewhere completely new. After last year’s trip to Morocco, this was only my second time outside of Europe despite a lifelong yearning for exploration and adventure – an era which I insist has just begun.

Wednesday 5 – Thursday 6 March

The journey: Hampshire to Harare

Reece joined Ryan and I on the coach to Heathrow at 4pm after negotiating a boxed-up bike into the luggage hold – a manoeuvre that was, from our vantage point at the back of the bus, both impressive and entertaining. Getting through the airport was remarkably straightforward (despite the bike) and we each wielded a Wetherspoons pint by 6:30pm. We boarded our nearly empty Rwandair plane at 7:30 for an 8:30 take-off and, being my first long-haul flight and my first experience of premium economy, I was amazed by the size of the thing and the glamour bestowed by individual TV screens, legroom and six-seat-wide rows. It was almost too much when the flight attendants brought round dinner and drinks.

Eight hours later we were served an early breakfast after much excitement and not much sleep, and once we’d broken through the cloud I lapped up the birds-eye view of Rwanda as it slid past the window. Clusters of huts scattered the landscape below us before giving way to tight, orderly rows of red-rooved houses as we approached Kigali, backed by vegetated hills that rolled in hazy layers all the way to the horizon. Green fields filled wide valleys and I felt quite naïve for anticipating a landscape of dust and sand.

We landed in Kigali at 7:30am local time (GMT +2) and quickly realised that we’d underestimated the already-rising heat. Thankfully the airport was cool, clean and quiet, but a little dull – its single café served us drinks until our busy connecting flight took off at 11:30. Again I stared out the window at a patchwork of red rooves, green fields, small reservoirs and the great Nyabarongo river, which meandered along the edge of the city like an autonomous brown snake, stretching endlessly into a haze that blurred the land into the sky.

The plane arrived in flat, sprawling Lusaka, Zambia, at 2pm and sat on the runway for half an hour to exchange passengers. When it took off I continued my close examination of Africa, which now consisted of green, shrubby plains that stretched as far as the eye could see. The outskirts of Harare appeared just after 3pm and scattered settlements soon condensed into tightly packed streets of shoebox-like houses, which is the last thing I remember before we landed at around 3:30.

Having somehow qualified for the diplomats’ queue, Ryan and I paid $55 for our visas, collected our bags and found Reece talking his way (rightfully, and eloquently as ever) out of paying to bring the bike into the country.

First impressions

Shelley and Bryn (Reece’s mum and brother) kindly met us at the airport and drove us back to the house, which was an experience in itself. The roads seemed utterly hectic: rights of way ranged from ambiguous to non-existent, peddlars chanced their luck between streams of slow-moving traffic, cars squeezed past each other with millimetres to spare and there was barely a road marking in sight. I quickly realised that UK driving is tedious. Apart from this chaos, my main observation was of Harare’s greenness and abundance of trees and bright flowers, which seemed to spring up everywhere in sporadic blooms of orange and yellow.

We arrived at Reece’s family home in a leafy suburb and were given a very warm welcome. We met ze German friends, Isabelle and Tilman, Paul (dad) and Kieran (uncle). We now constituted a merry group of nine, plus Charlie (anti-social parrot), Boston and Roxy (very social dogs). We settled into our comfortable bedroom, changed out of our long sleeves and boots, then spent the afternoon acquainting ourselves with our new friends and our accommodation, which included a fully stocked bar, pool, much-loved dartboard, beautiful garden and a round table that would become a familiar hub for food, drink, games and excellent company. I felt at home immediately.

That evening Reece’s friend arrived to collect his bike, Shelley cooked celery chicken (a spectacular family recipe) and taught us how to play killer, the darts game that would endure throughout the trip, an African deluge fell from the sky like the heavens had opened and we had a jolly good time getting to know each other. Zimbabwe had exceeded our expectations from day one.

Hiking the Black Forest’s highest mountain: The Feldberg

Thursday 12th September 2024

We’d kept a close eye on the forecast since arriving in Germany and today looked to be the first (and perhaps only) sunny day. Consequently we had reserved it for the main thing on our holiday to do list – a hike up Feldberg, the Black Forest’s highest mountain. We left the apartment at 8:30am and set off south in our little hire car, itching to explore the hills. Bright morning sunshine saturated the green fields that filled the valleys as we snaked through the vast landscape, lifting mist from dark, thickly forested hillsides in atmospheric veils. We navigated an unexpected road closure, passed high above the glassy surface of Lake Titisee and arrived in a small roadside car park at 10am.

The Feldbergsteig trail

We set off uphill past a modern, sharp-angled church and found ourselves in an outdoorsey resort containing a large hotel, ski centre and cable car base. Eager to escape the tourist trap, we found an information board showing our intended route, the Feldbergsteig. We hadn’t appreciated that the trail starts at an elevation of 1,287m so it felt like cheating to say we were climbing a 1,493m peak, but nevertheless we were excited for a varied, circular hike in a new mountain range.

To the Bismarck memorial

We headed northwest up a wide, gently inclining track that ran roughly parallel to the cable car line, passing several small groups who greeted us with a friendly “hallo”, and soon began soaking in the view. The surrounding yellow-green meadows melted into dark treelines formed by tall, deep green spruces, beyond which stretched endless forest spread thickly over distant, hazy blue ridges arranged in undulating layers. It was sunny, still and resoundingly quiet.

The track narrowed and took us into a verdant coppice, then continued through rugged meadows past a severe-looking concrete tower laden with satellite dishes. The first landmark we arrived at was the Bismarck memorial, a great stone pillar dedicated to the first Chancellor of the German empire. It was a wonderful viewpoint; a continuous swathe of forest covered the surrounding  hills and valleys like a dark green blanket stretching all the way to the distant horizon, broken only by occasional ragged-edged, grassy clearings.

Up Feldberg

We left the memorial and headed down the side of the hill across open meadow. We went through a gate and followed a wide gravel path along the side of a ridge, which was covered in rough, yellowish grass and sloped gently downhill towards the endless forest. A strange, tinny sound tinkled across the valley and a thin curtain of fluffy cloud – which had drifted down the ridge and obscured the path ahead – cleared to reveal a small herd of Fresian cattle blocking the path. I’ve been averse to cows since getting charged by a bull a few years ago, so I gave them a wide berth and reached a gate with some relief.

We gained the summit of Feldberg via a straight path up a gentle incline, the only drama being the loud and alarming receipt (on our phones) of Germany’s annual nationwide emergency alert test at 11am. It was a grassy and oddly subtle, unremarkable peak marked by a low, flattened mound topped with a trig point and a circle of benches, marred slightly by a tall communications tower and grim looking building a short distance away. We munched a sandwich with our backs to the tower and gazed across gently rolling, forest-carpeted hills, pondering on the ethics of saying we’d climbed a mountain.

Through field and forest

My doubts about the mountainous nature of the area were allayed once we left the summit and headed down a track that passed the ugly tower. The peaks ahead of us to the west were steeper, more undulating and completely forested compared to the gentler, grassier slopes to the east, and the horizon was formed by wide, hazy triangles of more mountain-shaped mountains. We headed downhill past a lush, green meadow dotted with fir trees and cattle, their cowbells tinkling whimsically in the breeze, and reached the first alpine hut along the route – a large, tiled, welcoming-looking building. Resisting the temptation to stop and grab a drink, we continued on the path, which flattened out and arced around Feldberg’s lower reaches in a smooth curve.

We tramped across charming, rugged meadows, then entered the thickly forested hillside to the north of Feldberg. A thousand shades of green emanated from ferns, shrubs, trees, grasses, mosses and lichens, which grew in Jurassic Park-like abundance on the steep slope. Shrubby clearings allowed us to gaze across a deep valley to opposite, equally living slopes, which were drenched in warm sunlight that slipped beneath thin clouds that drifted lackadaisically over the valley tops. It was incredibly tranquil, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist.

Past river and lake

We followed the path diagonally down the hillside, crossed a marshy section via a boardwalk and found ourselves at another alpine hut. A steep climb through the forest took us up to another swathe of meadow on the east side of Feldberg’s neighbouring hill, which dropped gently down into more verdant forest. We crossed the narrow, crystal clear Sagenbach river and followed its wonderfully overgrown, mossy banks downstream, marvelling at several rocky waterfalls and – on seeing the many bridges made by fallen trunks – wondered what storm could possibly have touched this serene place.

After winding down the river via bridges, steps and rocks, the route bore us east along a straight, flat track along the side of a hill between legions of tall pines. We stopped for another sandwich at a picnic table, then followed the arc of a spur to the edge of a valley clearing, where another large hut sat below us among cattle fields and meandering tributaries. We followed the treeline down into a peaceful wood, then came to the shores of the perfectly round, cwm-like Feldsee Lake. The clear, gently rippling water was surrounded on three sides by towering, green walls that looked too steep to accommodate the dense mass of huge trees that had somehow taken root. We stood on the “beach” for a moment, watching the ducks and listening to the silence, then set off on the final section of the route.

Last leg

The path followed the east bank of the lake, then climbed steeply into the thicket of beech, sycamore, pine and spruce. We zigzagged up rocky sections until the ground levelled and we emerged from the trees quite suddenly at the cable car base. It felt slightly surreal to be back in the busy resort after the serenity of the hike, which had felt quite wild despite the clear, well-signposted trail. We headed straight back to the car and, after debating whether a trip to the city of Freiburg would be worth it at rush hour, left for home (via Lidl, of course).

To summarise, it had been a lovely, varied hike with beautiful scenery that made us feel truly immersed in the Black Forest. The trail was very easy to follow (we barely used my guidebook map) and I just wish it had been longer than 8.5 miles. We came away feeling very refreshed, happy with a good day exploring a new mountain range.

Evening

We got back at 4:30pm and spent the evening relaxing on the balcony, drinking wine/beer, watching Rings of Power on Netflix and playing with Kraut the cat. Ryan cooked a lovely dinner of homemade schnitzel with steak, salad and potatoes and I came up with a rough plan for another hike the next day, this time starting from our apartment. Three days in and we felt very at home in the Black Forest.

Black Forest, Germany: Waldkirch and Triberg

Wednesday 11th September 2024

Eager to immerse ourselves in German culture, our plan for the morning was to visit the twice-weekly market in the small, nearby town of Waldkirch. The damp weather didn’t inspire us to rush out of our cosy apartment, so we took our time over a tasty breakfast of sausage, egg and toast, watched closely by Kraut the cat. When the rain subsided we set off in our little hire car through the scenic Simonswälder valley and arrived in the town at 11am. Parking was a stressful experience as the numerous little roadside car parks were full and we didn’t understand the road signs, but thankfully we found an underground place with plenty of space.

Waldkirch Market

The market spanned both sides of a cobbled street lined with pastel-painted houses and backed by misty, forested hills that rose high on either side of the town, their dark tops cloaked by an obstinate curtain of cloud. An atmospheric castle ruin loomed above red-tiled rooves at one end of the street, looking as if it had fallen out of a fairytale. The market was quite small but there was a wonderful array of crates, baskets and counters filled to the brim with local produce: colourful fruit and veg, fresh and cured meats, bread, cheese, eggs stacked in big trays, herbs and spices and a stall full of homewares and utensils all made of wood. It was utterly charming, and there was no disposable plastic to be seen.

I had a pleasant conversation in broken French with a cheesemaker and we came away with large chunks of – I think – morbier and comté, which had travelled across the nearby border with eastern France. I was almost as pleased with the conversation as I was with the cheese. We had a slightly less successful time communicating to an accommodating German butcher that we wanted to try the famous Black Forest ham and a couple of skewers (meat unknown), but got the message across with some emphatic pointing. We sat on a bench and tried the ham, which was divine – wafer thin with a very strong woodsmoke taste. Our last purchase (which also necessitated pointing) included a jar of homemade tomato sauce, fresh spinach and some bright orange chanterelle mushrooms from a greengrocer.

Satisfied with our miscellaneous ingredients for an unplanned meal, we wandered around the town, resisting the pull of cosy little cafés and bakeries crammed with pastries and pretzels. The regional theme of clean, cobbled streets and neat, colourful houses was as present in Waldkirch as everywhere else we’d been the day before. The town was small and it didn’t take us long to feel as if we’d completed it, so we returned to the car and formed a plan to drive east to Triberg, which we’d read about in various “Black Forest must-do” articles.

The drive took us northeast up the long Elz Valley to Oberprechtal, where we’d walked the previous day, then south along a high, scenic, serpentine road which carved a narrow line through endless dark forest. It rained heavily the entire way, but thankfully I’d become quite accustomed to the Black Forest’s hairpin bends and lofty glimpses of great, green valleys. Nevertheless, I was relieved when we dropped into the town and arrived safely in a multistorey car park – the 50-minute journey had seemed a lot longer.

Triberg

We munched ham and cheese sandwiches in the car, then headed out into the pouring rain. A walkway that followed the rushing Gutach river upstream led us to the centre of the small town, which sat in a kind of bowl surrounded by rising, impenetrable-looking forest. Unlike Waldkirch, which was set in the flattish belly of a valley, the colourful buildings of Triberg followed the contours of the slanting streets and rose into the trees in steep layers, giving a sense of self-contained, nestled cosiness.

House of 1000 Clocks

After a brief look down the high street, we crossed a main road and took respite from the rain in the House of 1000 Clocks, a charming shop with a huge wooden cuckoo clock built into the front. Its name is self-explanatory and it was unlike any shop I’ve ever seen: its cladded walls were covered in hundreds of intricate wooden cuckoo clocks, all unique and all incredibly detailed. They featured tiled rooves with chimneys and bell towers, balconies, shuttered windows, carved trees, animals and scenes of farmers, lumberjacks, craftspeople and beer-drinkers, all in traditional German dresses and lederhosen, complete with carts, mill wheels, log stacks and endless other little intricacies.

The shop also sold beautifully carved clocks featuring leaves, stags, hares and birds, and glass and metal clocks showing their mechanical workings, but I was most taken with the little cabins. They ranged from about 150€ to 3,000€ and I sorely wanted one of the cheaper, simpler ones, but we couldn’t have transported it home. We bought a cuckoo clock fridge magnet from the souvenir section in lieu of the real thing, and a little bottle of kirschwasser – a colourless local brandy – to try, then headed back out into the rain in time to see the cuckoo emerge from the huge shopfront clock at 2pm.

Waterfalls and Nature Trail

Triberg Falls comes up in a Google search as one of the Black Forest’s top attractions. We walked a short distance uphill from the clock shop, paid 15€ at the kiosk and picked the “nature trail” walking route. A red squirrel appeared just off the path and I ran back to the kiosk for peanuts, which Ryan had failed to mention when I was busy butchering the German language in my attempt to buy tickets. I was thrilled when the dainty little squirrel tentatively took a nut from just a couple of feet away: I’m very fond of red squirrels and always keep a close eye out for just a glimpse of one in Scotland, usually to no avail.

The tarmac path followed the rushing Gutach River upstream through lush forest. Tall pines formed a high canopy above layers of dark firs and leafy birches, and an array of bright green plants carpeted the ground leading steeply down to the water. Moss-covered boulders protruded from the river’s surface, allowing more greenery to take hold in their multitudinous crevices, and as we climbed higher the river took an increasingly tumultuous path down great rocky steps. After five wet minutes we reached the largest waterfall, a dramatic cascade that plunged down a huge, kinked “staircase”, and we took a moment at the viewing platform to gaze up and down the deep cleft carved by the furious water. In the downpour, it felt as though we were in a rainforest.

We crossed the river further up and followed the nature trail deep into the trees, away from the noisy banks. The way was clearly marked by a rough, rocky path, and – although the falls were beautiful – I was glad to be away from the manicured neatness of smooth tarmac and endless handrails, where the small handful of other tourists congregated in wet little groups. We snaked through the forest in a big loop, crossing back over the river further up and passing a couple of tiny huts where our tickets were checked – presumably to stop people sneaking in via the numerous hiking trails around the forest.

It was a lovely, circular route and we were thankful for the rain as we had the tranquil forest all to ourselves. We saw an escaped hawk with its jess still attached sat on a branch, fixated menacingly on something in the undergrowth, lots of red squirrels, jays, chaffinches, blackbirds, robins, mushrooms and – needless to say – an awful lot of trees. It took about an hour to get round, including dawdling and squirrel-feeding, and we topped it off with a few minutes playing on the giant swings overlooking the town, which we found just outside the exit. We were dripping wet and completely carefree.

Black Forest Museum

Once we’d exploited the swings, we crossed the road and dripped our way into the Black Forest Museum. We entered for free with our waterfall tickets and wandered through to a large, tin-rooved hall scattered with glass cabinets displaying traditional clothing from the region, an assortment of bizarre, heavily bejewelled headpieces, miscellaneous trinkets and generic old paintings. All the information signs were in German, which in a way was a relief (especially for Ryan) as I didn’t feel obliged to read anything.

Although innocuous-looking from the outside, the museum turned out to be a small labyrinth. We went through a doorway into a wide, wood-panelled hallway, which led to a couple of little rooms decorated in a traditional style. There was a charming, low-ceilinged child’s bedroom, tucked away up some beautifully carved stairs, and a workshop containing a vast array of hand tools and woodwork projects.

An arrow pointed us to the next section, which contained an awful lot of clocks and an information board in English – the only one we found in the whole museum, and for good reason:

We emerged in the museum café, which was lined with several mannequins dressed up in traditional costumes ranging from  fancy suits with obscure hats to witch and devil-masked festival outfits, made even more fascinating by the absence of an English explanation. This led to another hall containing a huge model of the area and a tight corridor dressed as a mine shaft, featuring an incredible variety of glittering rocks displayed in the walls. We emerged from the passage and climbed an elaborately carved staircase back into the tin-rooved hall, impressed by the diverse content and curious layout of the museum; although we couldn’t read anything, the rich visual exhibits gave us good feel for the cultural, woodcraft, agricultural and mining history of the area.

Black Forest cake

I was desperate to try some authentic Black Forest cake, so we left the museum and walked a short, wet distance to the guesthouse-café we’d spotted on our way out from the waterfalls. We climbed some stone steps, entered through a small doorway, communicated to a waiter that we’d like some coffee and were pointed through to the rear of the building. We were instantly charmed: a stone-flagged floor led us past a long, wooden bar and an open-plan dining area separated roughly into sections by rustic, whitewashed walls, adorned with forest paintings, assorted taxidermy and mounted antlers. An upper mezzanine gave a feeling of spaciousness, which was balanced by the timeless cosiness that emanated from the wooden furniture, cladded, lantern-hung ceiling and eclectic mix of rustic décor.

We sat in a corner of a large room at the back of the building, which was wood-cladded from floor to ceiling like a forest lodge from a fairytale. It was lined by small, square faux windows and miscellaneous art, and our table was decorated with a red-check runner and white doilies. Ryan had German beer while I had coffee and – at last – Black Forest cake. It was unlike any I’d had in England: incredibly light and fluffy, mildly chocolatey, and layered with light, sweet cream and sweet, sour, kirsch-infused cherry filling. I’m not a huge cakey person, and Black Forest cake has never been a favourite, but this experience has converted me.

Evening

At 5pm we left the café with no little reluctance and returned to the car. On our way out of Triberg I realised anxiously that I’d forgotten to pick up my much-loved, much-used filter water bottle, so I pulled over so Ryan could run in and grab it – thankfully it was still there. We stopped at Furtwangen Lidl on the way back to Simonswald, marvelled once again at the vast selection of meat and cheese and the cheap alcohol (I picked up a local bottle of wine for 3€ and Ryan grabbed a few 44c beers), and rather enjoyed the atmospheric drive through relentless rain and dark, misty valleys.

Back in our cosy apartment, I cobbled together a dinner with the ingredients we’d picked up from Waldkirch market and some random bits from Lidl. We had chanterelle mushroom and tomato stew with chunks of frozen sausage, paprika peppers and spinach, accompanied by the meat skewer (which turned out to be pork), bread, Black Forest ham, cheese and sauerkraut. It was delicious, if a little haphazard, and we washed it down with shots of kirshwasser – which turned out to be unequivocally vile.

We spent the rest of the evening planning a hike up Feldberg, the Black Forest’s highest mountain, with the “help” of Kraut, and reflecting on our time in Germany so far. It had been another lovely day full of local culture, nature and history despite, or perhaps because of, the rain, as – in the absence of crowds, which I’d read often swarmed on Triberg – we barely felt like tourists.

Black Forest, Germany: Simonswald to Gengenbach

Tuesday 10th September 2024

I felt as if I’d woken up in a dream. I lay under a pine-clad ceiling in a large room furnished plainly with a double and single bed, a floral-painted wardrobe and a comfy-looking armchair in a corner by three net-curtained windows, which revealed a steep, forested bank rising high above the back of the house in the misty morning light. After a hectic time planning this very-last-minute trip, it finally sank in that we’d made it past the travel hurdles I’d needlessly fussed about and were now deep in Germany’s Black Forest.

Journey

The first hurdle was getting to Stansted airport after a 4am start – not the easiest trip from the New Forest, but thankfully both National Express coaches were on time. The second was the flight, which was delayed by almost two hours and necessitated an anxious call to Europcar to check they’d wait for us. The third was collecting the car, which was more straightforward that I’d expected thanks to the lovely lady who received us, showed us round our shiny blue Toyota Aygo and – to my surprise – didn’t try to push us into purchasing deposit protection insurance. The fourth, and most intimidating, was driving an unfamiliar vehicle on the wrong side of the road (notably the autobahn in rush hour), without deposit protection insurance, for the first time in nearly five years, in the knowledge that the tiniest of knocks or scratches would cost us £800. The fifth and sixth were squeezing in a Lidl shop so we could eat and negotiating our late arrival with our host, as our accommodation was an hour and a half from Baden-Baden airport near a small town called Simonswald.

Accommodation

I got up and delighted on fully realising our location, which had not been revealed on our 9pm arrival in the dark. Our spacious apartment was on the first floor of a large, traditional Black Forest house on a small farm at the end of a dead-end road that climbed into a high-sided, dark-forested valley. The farm was timeless and fairytale-like, with its own watermill, wooden workshop and tiny chapel, and – as well as cosy wooden charm and a large living room-diner-kitchen, bedroom and bathroom – the apartment came with two bonuses that I hadn’t appreciated from my hasty peruse on AirBnB: an enclosed balcony looking up the valley, on which sat a large white and grey cat.

Kraut

I opened the balcony door and the cat promptly entered – the host hadn’t mentioned it and I assumed, by the way it padded around and settled immediately on the L-shaped sofa, that we were the ones imposing on its private space. I made coffee and, on opening the fridge door, had to extract both milk and the cat. There was a jar of sauerkraut leftover from last night’s dinner (chicken schnitzel with potato salad and sausage kale, cooked by Ryan while I recovered from the drive) which inspired the cat’s temporary name – Kraut.

Belated trip planning

Ryan soon emerged and cooked a delicious breakfast of egg, tomato, rich German sausage (which may have been beef) and thin, seeded bread from a pre-cut loaf, which made lovely, crispy toast. Having done precisely zero holiday planning beyond a resolution to climb Feldberg, the region’s highest mountain, we scoured the numerous leaflets (all in German) and settled on a day exploring mainly by car, given the grey sky and forecast rain.

We had a quick poke around the farm workshop, mill and chapel, then drove into the pretty, rural town of Simonswald to visit the little information centre. We didn’t learn much as everything was in German, but I took photos of some maps and we decided to head on to Elzach, a slightly bigger town in the next valley.

Elzach

We parked near a residential area and noted how well-kept and big the houses were, how pothole-free the roads, and how there wasn’t a single bit of litter anywhere. The town centre was very pretty: old-fashioned street lamps and planters full of red geraniums lined cobbled pavements, and colourful buildings were punctuated by balconies, dormer windows and shutters. We found the information centre near a big pink-washed church and a primary school, where children played football despite the rain and didn’t wear uniforms. The man working there was very friendly and explained to us, in very good English, that there were dozens of signposted hiking trails in the area and that we should take two free leaflets – one a regional hiking map and the other containing descriptions of the corresponding routes – to navigate. We left wondering why England can’t implement such effective systems for tourists.

Local history hiking trail

We picked a short 5km loop – “heimatkundlicher wanderweg” – that started in a village 10 minutes up the valley, Oberprechtal, and encompassed 18 information boards (all of which I translated with an app) detailing the nature, culture and geography of the area. We climbed above the village and followed a clear path into the forest, which at first consisted of leafy ashes, hazels and brambles, then tall, dense pines with linear trunks that stretched straight upwards, emphasising the steepness – about 30 degrees – of the valley sides. We passed a sloping bank of moss-covered rocks and came to a small, wendy-house-like cabin looking upwards to a grassy, forest-lined meadow. It was very Hansel and Gretel and we couldn’t resist.

We sat in the porch and enjoyed ham and cheese sandwiches, sheltered from the torrential downpour that came in suddenly and swept over the meadow. When it seemed like the worst of the rain had passed, we continued through moss-covered, bracken-strewn pine forest for another kilometre, which was now dappled with soft sunlight that illuminated mosses, leaves and fronds in countless shades of green. We snaked down a steep switchback and emerged at the crest of a small ridge that looked up the Elz valley. Its lower reaches were carpeted by astonishingly green fields which rose into thick, dark forest on both sides, and a tiny road lined by spaced-out, red-rooved buildings wound up the belly of the valley towards hazy blue hills at its head. It was fairytale-like:

Once we’d absorbed the view, we headed down the side of the ridge through a tranquil young beech wood and came out on the road at the tiny, pretty village of Vor dem Wittenbach. Some construction workers had fenced off the bridge we were supposed to cross, so we found a diversion and returned to Oberprechtal on a footpath that followed a shallow stream past cattle fields and a pen of enormous turkeys. It was a lovely little loop and a good “taster” hike that left us thoroughly charmed with the quaintness and serene, timeless beauty of the Black Forest.

Toboggan run

We got back to the car at 3pm and decided that there was plenty of time for more activities, so Ryan – being the large child that he is – suggested a “summer toboggan run”, a one-person rollercoaster where the rider controls the brake, in the nearby town of Gutach. The 20-minute drive took double that due to a missed turn and a winding road that climbed high into thick forest and snaked down into the next valley. I’m sure it was very scenic, but I was too busy navigating the hairpin bends to appreciate the glimpses of distant pine-covered ridges through the trees.

We paid 4€ each at a little wooden kiosk, timed our turn so that we wouldn’t get stuck behind any children, and followed the instructions of the operator as well as we could – fünfundzwanzig meter, which I took to mean stay 25m behind Ryan. The carts were low and exposed, like glorified dinner trays with a windscreen, open sides and a handbrake on a raised metal track. I chugged joltily up the steep side of the valley at a snail’s pace with a bolt jabbing into my back at every track joint. It levelled out at the top and I had a brief moment to gaze over the valley. The red rooves of Gutach huddled between fields that climbed into dark-forested ridges, now drenched in soft afternoon sun. Then the fun bit began.

The cart swooped into a series of twists and turns and I hurtled down with a huge grin on my face. The track joints were loud and very noticeable and the sides of each berm were protected by a low wire net, which I’m sure would have done little in the event of disembarkment, but the dubious safety features certainly added to the excitement and even inspired me to feather the brake on some of the tighter corners. The descent lasted a couple of minutes and by the time I clambered out of the cart, my grin felt permanent. We agreed that it was well worth 4€.

Gengenbach

As we were already some way north of Simonswald, we thought we may as well make our way further north to see the town of Gengenbach, which I’d come across during my brief time spent researching the Black Forest. The 40-minute drive followed a wide valley through several sprawling, pretty towns and we arrived at a car park just outside the town centre at 5pm.

We entered the town through a gateway with a raised portcullis beneath a high, square tower – the Kinzigtor – which was painted white and decorated with a splay-winged German eagle and three coats of arms. It felt as if we’d stepped into a fairytale. Colourful buildings with painted shutters and hanging lanterns lined the wide, cobbled street, which converged with two other streets at the central market square. I’d never seen a place like it – there were so many focal points, and nothing was uniform but everything was perfect.

A huge, pink, grand-looking town hall rose impressively on one side, its 22 symmetrical windows and 11 ground-floor arches each adorned with pink flowers. Three large buildings stood opposite the hall, painted white and cream with exposed timbers in hatched patterns. They had high-apexed, sloping tile rooves and flower boxes at each window. Along each cobbled street – the whole town was cobbled, and not a stone was missing – stretched more of these buildings, some painted pastel colours and some timber-framed, all with charmingly irregular rooves. The red spires of cream towers dominated the skyline at the end of each perfect row, and a stone fountain topped with red, pink and white geraniums and a statue of a knight trickled in the middle of the marketplace. Apart from the few cars, it was convincingly medieval. It didn’t seem real – I half-expected the walls to topple over and reveal it all to be a two-dimensional film set. It is, without doubt, the most attractive town I’ve ever seen.

We walked past the fountain along Victor-Kretz-Strasse and took the first right turn, not wanting to miss any of the real-life fairytale. We passed a couple of blue-shuttered buildings and a little car park fringed by tall, leafy trees, then  came to a grand, cream building with dozens of uniform, pink-framed windows and a perfect front lawn dotted with round topiary bushes – the Black Forest Business School – that stood in front of an intricate sandstone tower, which belonged to the adjacent St Marien church. This was on the edge of the small town, which was backed by vineyard-covered hillsides, so we returned to the high street and headed towards Obertorturm, the north tower.

We passed shops selling clothes, shoes, books and souvenirs, all with little canopies stretching over the pavement, and bustling cafes that spilled out onto the street. There were plants everywhere, filling stone troughs lining the paths, in pots outside restaurants and cafes, and flowerboxes decorated the windows of most buildings. We turned left along a narrow alley just before the tower, poked around an old stone well with a wooden pump that looked like it worked, and wove through narrow, cobbled alleys lined by timber-framed houses back to the main street.

Charmed by the quaintness of every nook and cranny, we took the next turn and found ourselves down another surreal alley. Large lanterns protruded from the beams of houses and climbing greenery covered many of the walls, seeming to emanate from the cobbles. Grapevines crept above wooden front doors and the residents seemed to compete over who could encroach on the street with the greatest abundance of potted shrubs and geranium-lined windows. I wondered why any architect or town planner would ever deviate from such aesthetic perfection – if only every town looked like this.

We emerged on Haupstrasse, the other main street off the central marketplace, popped into a little supermarket for a drink, then were lured into a lovely, old-fashioned bakery. The tiny old lady smiled patiently through my attempts to communicate which bread I wanted and asked (via gestures) whether we wanted it sliced. Resisting the delicious-looking cakes and pastries, we left with a loaf of sliced walnut bread, which we later found to be divine. We returned to the car via the marketplace and the Kinzigtor, utterly enchanted by Gengenbach.

Evening

The hour-long drive back to Simonswald was thankfully uneventful, and took us through more pretty towns and fields nestled in wide valleys between great, sloping banks of rich forest. We arrived just before 7pm and settled in with a glass of wine (a German beer for Ryan) on the balcony, gazing up the green, wooded valley and listening to the sound of nothing but the birds and the stream. Kraut arrived, bit and scratched me when I was slow to give her some ham, and made herself comfortable on the sofa. Ryan cooked what turned out to be a thick pea and ham stew from a large Lidl can, which we had with cheese and walnut bread. We researched the area with the help of various leaflets (in German) and YouTube, which we could access on the TV, and decided – in light of the wet forecast – to go to the weekly market at Waldkirch the following morning. It was a lovely end to a successful first day. We went to bed besotted with the Black Forest.